Ron Does Stuff

It’s down the home stretch now for the currently airing Drag Race franchises, with RuPaul’s Drag Race UK versus The World airing its finale today and now the main US show down to the top five. We’re so close to the finish line!

Let’s dive in and see what we have in store for us this episode!

As everybody knows by now, Morphine murdered Dawn during the lip sync in the previous episode and to her credit, Morphine gave full credit to Dawn’s efforts. She also shared that her crotch disintegrated during that lip sync and Q snuck in a meaty tuck joke just to spice things up.

Everybody recognizes that Sapphira is the clear frontrunner and Plane and Q are the talking heads for this particular segment, which tells me that maybe Morphine and Nymphia are the bottom two for this episode. Sorry Morphine fans, but I don’t think she’s going to be in the top this episode with the way her storyline has progressed.

The next day we get a pretty…meh…product placement for a RuPaul-themed Monopoly game and really it could have been done in a better that actually would entice people to buy it. But that’s that as RuPaul enters and brings in the Pit Crew dancers from RuPaul’s Drag Race Live for this season’s makeover challenge. A challenge whose high point still remains the season 3 iteration.

Morphine is ecstatic and says that this is her challenge and girl. You practically signed your elimination papers because now the production is setting you up for a very big fall. Anyways, the guys get distributed to the queens via colored balls and it seems like the girls got who they wanted!

But more than just the makeover, the queens are also tasked to come up with a “dance moment” so maybe the cheerleading video I found was appropriate after all!

So Plane Jane and Nick both want to look like whores which is good! If there’s agreement between you and your partner it usually ends up better for you in the makeover challenge. Meanwhile, Morphine is really emphasizing that she’s good at this and baby that is THE ONE THING you shouldn’t do because the producers and editors and all the people behind-the-scenes are just rubbing their hands with glee now because they get to craft the storyline of your downfall. And from the looks of the editing they’re going to make it look like you were too horny to do a good job!

Meanwhile, Miss Nymphia is paired with a married straight guy and she’s worried that his partner may not be able to pull off the femininity required for the makeover. Nymphia, honey, watch Season 3’s “Jocks in Frocks” episode. Straight cis dudes can be VERY GOOD when given the chance!

Sapphira’s partner, on the other hand, is giving Q a run for it when it comes to competitiveness because he really wants to beat his best friend in this challenge. Which may be entirely possible because his best friend is partnered with Q and he’s very anxious about losing his facial hair. Not a good sign!

As the work progresses in the…uh…Werk Room, it really looks like this is shaping up to be as fun a challenge as the Jock in Frocks episode because these men work with previous Drag Race girls so they do know the vocabulary and are comfortable with the femininity of it all. I really liked how Sebastian was extra sassy while walking in heels, giving Morphine an opportunity to throw shade at Q’s own walk.

And then we get introduced to different schools of tucking, because Nymphia and Morphine apparently tuck differently. Morphine’s partner does not look particularly enthused about the duct tape that will soon be a part of his drag anatomy.

Once again, Morphine’s skill is emphasized during RuPaul’s walkthrough and girl. All the signs are there. It is time for you to say goodbye to your sisters because production is setting up the neon signs signaling your exit from the show. It’s further reinforced during the choreography when Morphine outs herself as not knowing how to dance the salsa. Morphine, you in danger girl.

It’s also during choreography practice that Sapphira realizes that the original gown she planned for the runway is too heavy to dance in, so on the day of the runway itself she has to scramble to come up with other outfits to wear for her and her partner. Plane Jane lent her one outfit and the last time Plane lent something was to Plasma and look how that turned out.

Nymphia gets a moment of vulnerability while they’re preparing for the runway and it either means she’s the one going home because they’re giving her her big moment now or she’s going to be winning this challenge. I think that she’s going to be safe, honestly, because Morphine has already set her departure in stone with all the bragging earlier on in the episode.

The runway starts and honestly…it was all just okay? I don’t know, maybe because we know that these queens really bring the fashion to the runway so that now when it’s just good it’s not as impressive? Like on a regular episode I think these looks would be well-received but I just got so used to Q, Sapphira, and Nymphia bringing looks that gag the audience so this was all a little underwhelming? For me, a person who has questionable fashion sense.

From the way the judges critiques went, it looks like it’s going to be Plane’s to win, making it a battle between her and Sapphira in the finale if we’re going by track record. Sorry, Nymphia and Q, but you may just end up being third and fourth place. BUT THEN AGAIN. One of them could pull a Sasha Velour and change the game so you never know!

And Plane does win! Morphine and Sapphira, quite understandably, are the bottom two queens. And there is no way in hell that they’re sending Sapphira home. Truly, truly, the lesson here is never to brag about your competencies because production will humble you.