Ron Does Stuff

I have a confession to make: I wasn’t really all that excited for this season of All Stars. While I was talking with my friends who are also Drag Race fans I kinda explained it to myself as being very disappointed with All Stars 8, especially when All Stars 7 was such a great season.

This is why I maybe forgot that this was already premiering? I’ve also had a busy work week, to be fair, but even then I usually know in the back of my mind that this and that piece of media is premiering. With this I literally had not idea.

Is that a good or bad thing? We’ll see as I watch it!

Of course, just like every Drag Race season that came before it, we get the queens walking into the Werk Room and Gottmikl definitely sets a high bar right out of the gate just with that wig alone. My gooodness. We also of course get updated on everything she’s done since and she really did become one of the fashion queens of the franchise.

Up next is Miss Thick and Juicy herself, Roxxxy Andrews. And no tea no shade, the surgeries she’s had done is immaculate. And of course she’s still very much thick and juicy.

Miss Vanjie (Miss Vanjie, Miss…Vanjie) is still very much…Vanjie. The fashion is very much elevated ratchet? If that makes sense? It’s like she realized that she’s not going to be a hoity-toity queen anytime soon so she just hews as closely to her real self and that’s what we love about her. Although I do wish they added her stuff from her sex education show on Wow Presents Plus because I thought that was a genuinely good show.

After Miss Vanjie we get Miss Angie! Angeria Paris VanMichaels’ wig is gorgeous. And she’s got an edgier look about her now compared to her first go-around back in season 14. Although just like Miss Vanjie, I do wish they also talked about how great she is on Binge Queens. But then again maybe because this isn’t streaming on Wow Presents Plus in the US there’s some contract issues or something going on.

Nina West is arguably one of the more successful queens from the franchise if not the most popular. She’s been in a touring production of Hairspray! She was the Broadway queen before Jinkx was the Broadway queen. And that’s no disrespect to Jinkx as all because Jinkx is one of my all-time favorites.

Also can we talk about the fucking safety pin flying across Gottmik’s face and hitting Roxxxy Andrews? The unintentional comedy and the editing milking it is hilarious to me.

Plastique Tiara is up next and the amount of gender envy she inspires on TikTok needs to be commemorated somewhere because she’s hot as a man and a woman. Also, it’s so fun to see her really lean into her Vietnamese heritage rather than using it as an excuse if she doesn’t do well on a challenge like she did on her original season.

And there’s that tiny wisp of a creature Jorgeous, Jorgeous Prime, and to be quite honest she’s beautful but I don’t really see a huge difference from her fashions from her original season? But am not a fashion queen so take that with a grain of salt.

Finally, last in the Werk Room is Shannel, wearing an updated version of that iconic Medusa outfit. And that Miss Mandarin tongue thing still makes me laugh literally more than a decade later my golly I am ancient.

Also, Plastique, Jorgeous, and Shannel’s looks aren’t included below because they haven’t posted it on the Instagrams yet.

Okay one thing I should have expected but didn’t is that there would be no eliminations! It really does make sense after all. You can’t have them play for charity and then give them the chop immediately. If you really want to raise money you need to give them the maximum amount of time to do so. Like the All Winners season, the competition comes when the queens decide who they’re gonna block from getting badges in the next episode.

Now before we get into the competition proper, do the queens get paid anything? I know the money is going to charity but I hope they get a stipend of some sort at least! I know there’s a tour coming after the season but still!

We get to the reading challenge and the production is foul for focusing on Plastique’s Pamper pussy while it was being discussed I laughed. But the star of the challenge is Roxxxy because those reads slid off the tongue they didn’t feel rehearsed! She deserved the win!

The Maxi Challenge this episode is writing their own verses to this season’s theme song and while the queens settle into the Werk Room after the reading challenge they get to talking about who the biggest competition. Roxxxy, understandably, is the biggest target. Nina is also mentioned because she will definitely kill the comedy challenges.

I do feel for the older queens Shannel and Nina because well, I am in the advanced stages of decomposition and while the spirit is willing, the body is rotting. They may just not have the stamina to bring it every time and I say this with the biggest amount of love. Also I say this from the various aches and pains plaguing my aged body.

It’s also a lot sobering hearing the queens talking about all the fuckery that’s been going on in the United States. It’s something I read about in the news but as always, it always feels so much more immediate when you hear it from someone you know. And yes, I don’t know these queens but I know them. Because good lord what kind of world are we living in when literal Nazis are comfortable enough to march out in public.

After that discussion the queens get ready to learn their choreography — which they have to come up with themselves — and I feel for Jorgeous because she’s very upfront about not being a choreographer but she is the best dancer here so she kind of got the responsibility by default.

I also like the getting ready talk is about the game and the queens are very matter-of-fact about it? They’re professionals after all and know how the game is played. It’s very drama-filled non-drama? I don’t know if that makes sense?

Before we get to see the queens perform we get to see Ru do it first and it’s a performance! She’s on the stage moving and lip syncing! Then the queens perform and Plastique Tiara’s Sailor Starlight costume? GAGGED. I liked the track although I did find it a little long? Or maybe that’s just me trying to break away from the short attention span TikTok has forced on me.

The runway theme is Signature Look, Signature Perfume and on sheer wow factor Plastique had me gagging. Two pairs of wings? The literal gagging in the voiceover? Also Roxxxy gamely playing around with the aftermath of All Stars 2? GAGGING.

Angeria and Jorgeous end up as the top two queens and while I didn’t quite notice them during the challenge itself, it’s not like any of the queens did bad. I thought that maybe Shannel’s verse wasn’t as well-written but that’s a minor thing.. During the lip sync, I thought it was a little touch and go for a while until Angeria started dabbing her face with the handkerchief and then I knew she was going to win.