We’ve got another Drag Race franchise starting a new season today and it’s none other than Drag Race France! I mostly enjoyed last season, where Keiona emerged the winner in the live season finale. There hasn’t been a lot of press when it comes to this new season — excluding the Meet the Queens which I don’t usually watch — so I will be going into this pretty much knowing nothing!
First queen to enter the Werk Room is Misty Phoenix, wearing something Pearl ay have considered wearing during her Season 7 entrance in the American season. And she’s…well she’s energetic, let’s say that! And of course has got that twentysomething body that I also used to have before age and metabolism got to me.
Le Filip is up next and she has the face structure of one of those guys who does Eastern European porn. And you know what, I’m kinda right? It turns out she isn’t French at all, but an immigrant from Croatia whose been living in France for a decade now. And yes I know Croatia technically isn’t in Eastern Europe.
Afrodite Amour is up next and she does that Pearl thing of speaking in a deep voice and I laughed. It should be an expected joke at this point but it still gets me!
Up next is Perseo and since I am also a loyal viewer of Drag Race España I am absolutely not surprised that she’s from the Canary Islands after she enters in platform heels and starts taking off her clothes. I’ve had three regular seasons of Drag Race España to remind me that Canary Island queens do that just to go to the grocery store.
Leona Winter is up next and this is absolutely stupid on my part but in the confessionals she looks so French? Like the stereotypical way I expect a white Frenchman to look. And apparently she’s been in a bajillion drag competitions. Either she’s going to be a frontrunner here or she’s going to be the first queen out.
Norma Bell is up next and she’s from a “department” of France known as the Réunion Island. Now is “department” just a term to fudge the fact that this is still a French colony? And Google says yes! Someone should give these colonizers…the chop!
The next queen entering the Werk Room is Magnetica who is actually from Bolivia and is not French! Lolita Banana the doors you have opened! Magnetica and Afrodite and friend who actually met watching an episode of Drag Race France in a bar. Drag continues to bring friends and family together!
Ruby On The Nail is up next and cards on the table I am not really a fan of the hairy queens. It doesn’t necessarily mean that her drag is bad, it’s just not the type of drag I respond to. There’s room for everyone! And apparently she’s pretty big in the French scene so really what does it matter if I’m not into it?
Then we have Edeha Noire, who I guess is the edgy queen this season. Or maybe the abrasive queen this season? They’re making it seem like she’ll be the cause of drama this season.
Lula Strega is up next and I know it’s wrong to just immediately box these queens but it’s the easiest way to describe them, okay? She looks to be the Dawn of the season. And yes I know her aesthetic is a lot removed from Dawn but she has the same vibes.
It’s all the queens for this season and of course the competition starts once they’re all in the Werk Room. There’s still no cash prize this time around but they do get a year’s supply of MAC Cosmetics and a five-star Venice carnival vacation so there is that!
The mini challenge is up and the queens have to take a gorgeous photoshoot atop a mechanical surfboard. Having surfed once in my life it is hard when you’re uncoordinated and I assume it is even harder when you’re wearing wigs, heels, and a gown.
The photos are great action shots but I don’t think it really gave the queens the opportunity to serve face? But then again maybe the point is to give the gorgeous action shot as they fall off the surfboard. Magnetica wins the mini challenge because it really was a great shot seeing her dog fly off into space. She wins a snorkel and I guess Drag Race France is still going to be doing this joke mini challenge prizes.
The Maxi Challenge is a cabaret show where they need to write their own lyrics, as well as lipsync and dance. Nicky also emphasizes that the outfits will also be considered in the judging so they have to look fierce as well. And there’s also this new thing where the weekly winner’s photo will be displayed in a frame and the other queens have to swear allegiance to it and I don’t know how that’s going to impact the rest of the season.
As the queens de-drag Edeha Noire reveals that she recovered from spinal surgery and is going to need help from time to time just to walk. I think healthcare is subsidized in France? I hope the competition doesn’t exacerbate her condition!
Meanwhile, Leona reveals she and her husband actually used to run a cabaret back in Spain and boy is she setting herself up either for a triumph or an early out. Never talk about your strengths on a competition show because they’ll immediately set you up for a storyline and that storyline generally doesn’t end well.
Meanwhile Afrodite is crying already talking about her seasonal depression and to paraphrase what she said: I can’t believe people are crying already. We’re only on the first episode!
The queens start listening to the music and they gush about how great it is but my question is will WowPresentsPlus have the streaming rights to it because the amount of lip syncs from the past two seasons where I had to listen to canned music. Girl.
The queens start choreography practice and Afrodite is stiff. Like she really lived up to the banker stereotype because she is stiff. She even admits to it and says she’s not honoring her ancestors!
Edeha Noire is another person who has trouble with the choreography because she just got back from spinal surgery. I know that getting on Drag Race France really helps out your career — look at La Grande Dame — but how are you going to get those bookings if you send yourself to the hospital again? Fully heal yourself first!
Now I thought guest judge Charles de Vilmorin was going to be one of those “special guest judges” on the American seasons that nobody knows but he’s dressed La Grande Dame and Paloma and was actually spotted by Jean-Paul Gaultier. Also he’s hot?
The performance starts and Afrodite. Girl. I am far from being a dancer myself but she really is stiff. Even I could notice it! Getting paired with Magnetica didn’t help either because it just made her stiffness stand out even more.
Meanwhile, Le Filip is doing the Bebe Zahara Benet thing of singing whatever the fuck she wants because that verse was giving big Jungle Kitty energy.
The runway starts and the queens are working with the theme Made in France. I particularly loved Le Filip choosing to go with the guillotine because in today’s socioeconomic environment? The guillotine might just be France’s best contribution to society!
While I don’t particularly like the way the outfit looked, I liked that Perseo chose to go with Braille because I truly did not know that it was invented by a French person. I just assumed Braille was an English name!
I also did not think Norma Bell’s outfit was anything spectacular. It’s a sleek look but it’s not drag enough if that makes sense? BUT the history she’s representing? Particularly the probably suppressed history of a slave being the first one to discover the pollination of vanilla? Very important!
Leona’s is another outfit that I was meh about but I did find out that the spray gun is a French invention. Honestly, I liked most of the outfits more for what they taught me than for how they looked, if that makes sense.
The top and bottom queens are Lula Strega, Afrodite Amour, Magnetica, Norma Bell, Leona Winter, and Edeha Noire. And I am vindicated when hot Frenchman Charles de Vilmorin says Lula Strega’s outfit could have been more drag. I know I said that about Norma Bell but that’s close enough for me.
Afrodite, I think deservedly, also got read for her performance in the cabaret. Edeha Noire was also criticized for her cabaret performance and she was even upfront about how it wasn’t her best work. So it looks like the top three queens are Magnetica, Norma Bell, and Leona Winter.
Back in the Werk Room, Lula Strega breaks down because she’s frustrated with how she can’t just overcome her shyness, which I can fully relate to. It took getting a job that required me to be more extroverted before I could get over mine.
Norma Bell is this week’s winner and SHE WINS MONEY. A €1,000! Is this going to be a regular thing now? Or is this just for this episode? I think this is the first time they’ve given a cash prize on Drag Race France!
Lula Strega is saved by her stronger performance in the cabaret and quite honestly Edeha and Afrodite really did worse in the cabaret. Especially Afrodite. I know it seems like I’m picking on her but she really was stiff, at least in the footage shown!
I’m not fond of the lip synch performance between Edeha and Afrodite either but I do have to concede that Edeha did a better job than Afrodite. Afrodite is the first queen to go home this season and can I just say I really love how reassuring Nicky is? After all, she also was an early out in the American season and look at her now! She’s been the host of three seasons of Drag Race France!
Ron Does Stuff 
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