So…when this teaser first showed up on social media, I was very skeptical. Because while I’ve definitely seen Japanese media depicting gay relationships, it’s either very cutesy or…well let’s just say the other stuff won’t be shown on national television. I think this may be the first time they’re doing this? I was very skeptical but it looks like they really did push through with it!
Let’s go take a look!
Okay so the episode starts with the premise of the show — the guys will be spending a limited time inside a beach house and if they fall in love? They fall in love. At least that’s what I got from the snippets of dialogue in the intro! It’s not going to be like Love Is Blind or something where they have to leave the place married.
I gotta say, just from the way they’ve filmed this, it already feels like a classy production? And that’s not really the best word for it but I’ve spent most of the past few months watching Trixie and Katya watch shows like Too Hot to Handle and already The Boyfriend already looks way better?
The first arrival to the house is Dai, a 22-year-old university student and not to be that guy because it’s not like I’m a beautiful specimen of humanity but Dai looks older than 22. JUST SAYING. He says he’s attracted to “people who are a bit eccentric” and why do I feel like it’s going to be like one of those people who say they’re “sapiosexual” but what they really mean is they like hot guys wearing glasses? Then the editing gives us a…flash forward? to later on in the series? episode? And Dai is crying over someone. DRAMA.
Up next is 34-year-old designer Taeheon and mawma. I wouldn’t mind a piece of that. He’s not attracted to people who are in the same field as him and wants someone who’ll broaden his perspective but since he’s South Korean I have a feeling that perspective broadening is open only to fellow East Asians with a certain look. And OH BOY he’s using the show as a way to come out to his family, who still doesn’t know. MESS. At least from what I hear about South Korea and their attitude towards homosexuality.
The third person to enter is 28-year-old Ryota who is skinny and gangly and maybe I’m just craving the touch of another human being but I’m into it? From the way he describes himself he seems to be pansexual — if I’m understanding it correctly! — and he’s a little timid when it comes to love and he wants this experience to make him braver.
Thirty-four-year-old Gensei is up next and he’s a hair and make-up artist. He’s looking for someone good-looking and a bit masculine and with a sensitive side and aren’t we all?
Fourth person to arrive in the house is Shun Nakanashi and mawma. He’s 23 years old and a musician and DJ and will probably be supported financially by whoever he ends up but that’s cool, that’s cool! He’s looking for marriage and baby you are 23, you are a baby, slow down! He even wants to adopt! Just like Dai, there’s a little flash forward for him and it looks like somebody disappoints him inside the house. Is it Dai? Since they’re the only ones who’ve had this editing so far?
It looks like there’s only going to be five of them? So someone’s going to be left out and unpaired? Vicious. They’re staying in the Green Room — the name of the house — for a month and the production hopes that it will be “a brilliant time” for all of them. They also have a coffee truck they have to run and they’re free to do whatever they want with the proceeds. As a poor I will hide away as much of that money as I can for myself.
After all of that happens it cuts to the panel watching the show and I gotta say this is still something I’m getting used to when it comes to East Asian shows. I mean I guess there’s also a “panel” for Western shows in the form of narration/the narrator/the voiceover/the host but you don’t have a panel panel. That’s my “insightful” media thought for the night.
OH THEY’VE GOT A DRAG QUEEN ON THE PANEL. And I guess she’ll be the one providing the insights about the gay community for the rest of the presumably straight cast.
Taeheon immediately takes the reins when it comes to naming their coffee truck business, and I gotta say I didn’t expect them to be talking about pronouns on the show. But while the boys are discussing that, yet another guy shows up at the house.
The newcomer is Kazuto and he looks like your straight, Filipino, clean-cut college upperclassman you had a desperate crush on. He’s a chef and he’s brought food and honestly one of the guys should at least give him a handjob just for that. He’s 27 years old and manages a restaurant and wants a life partner. He also easily gets the guys to do his bidding because he has them cleaning vegetables and everything while he fillets a fish.
Once the food is prepared they eat it outside and Kazuto notices that there’s a sauna at the house as well. The guys all agree that they should make it a routine to use it and my filthy mind can only think of one thing gay guys do at a sauna.
The guys get another notice and they’re told to write a letter to only one of the other participants. And that they should do this anonymously. In the words of Nicole Paige Brooks from Atlanta, Georgia that is some malicious gay faggotry and I want more of it.
In the confessionals (?) Dai says he’s set on one person while Gensei and Shun worry that no one is going to send them a letter. But the next day it’s Taeheon who doesn’t get a letter and oh no. He sent Kazuto a letter because he was impressed by how he led everyone the day before in the kitchen so his bottom sense were activated probably.
Taeheon’s chances are dashed even further because Kazuto thinks that the letter came from either Dai or Shun so I guess he likes them younger? Or maybe there’s just some Japanese-Korean thing there that I honestly do not want to touch because I don’t know enough about the tensions between the two countries to joke about it.
Ryota doesn’t get a letter either but Gensei does and it’s from…we don’t know yet! But we do know that Gensei wrote to Dai because he said so himself. So I guess Shun was right to be negative and think he wouldn’t get a letter at all?
But he DOES get a letter and it’s from Dai! Dzai (the Filipinos will get it), you are going to get your heart broken if my guess is correct and the “fast forwards” earlier in the episode are about the two of you guys. BUT THEN! The show throws a curve ball because Dai gets three letters. DAMN.
Dai says he would be really happy if one of the letters was from Shun because he’s only got eyes for him but BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS MESSY the three letter come from Kazuto, Gensei, and Ryota. SO SHUN WROTE TO GENSEI. BUT APPARENTLY NOT BECAUSE HE SAID NO ONE WAS HIS TYPE? FUCK? WHO WROTE TO GENSEI? Maybe Shun did but it was like…as a friend?
Before we can unpack that we find out that Kazuto left for the day but made everyone breakfast and honestly. Someone at least fondle his balls or something. Dai also says that he’ll be leaving later on in the day and won’t be able to join the guys as well. So I guess this isn’t going to be like a Big Brother situation where they have to stay inside the house.
After deciding on a name for their coffee truck business, the guys receive training in coffee making and good lord they were going to give them a coffee truck when no one knew how to make coffee? I mean I’m sure they know how to make coffee but not…fancy meant-to-be-sold coffee, I guess.
They’re told to split into two groups and Shun groups himself with Dai and Dai’s nipples are probably hard right at that moment not knowing that SHUN DOESN’T EVEN LIKE HIM MY GOD THIS IS DELICIOUS. And good lord Dai is so earnest I remember myself when I was that age and gworl you’re going to get your heart broken!
The thing that Dai has to go to is his 23rd birthday party and he tells his girl friends that Shun is really hot — he is — and boy does he misunderstand all of Shun’s actions because he thinks Shun is into him. HONEY. BABY. SWEETIE. He does clarify that maybe Shun doesn’t know he’s doing it but he does acknowledge that he dances along like a puppet and boy do I know how that feels.
Back in the Green Room, Shun says he’s into “pure-hearted” and “youthful” guys who doesn’t make him feel “insecure”. He says he expects too much from his partner and Dai. Dzai. DZAI. This is a red flag. Run away. Maybe make out with him before you do but run away.
Up next we have the boys at the beach and of course they’re shirtless. This show is for the homos after all. There’s ab and nipple zoom-ins and yes. Every month truly is Pride Month.
Shun, because he is still a homosexual, says that Dai has the ideal body and has “extremely toned abs”. And since Dai is also a homosexual, he also takes note of Taeheon’s bod, saying it’s so sexy. There is definitely malicious gay faggotry going on in that Green Room.
Meanwhile Kazuto says he wouldn’t mind if someone had a belly and baby. Do I have a belly for you.
After their day at the beach the guys retire back to the Green Room and talk about their sexual orientations. Dai is bisexual, and Ryota says he is as well, and Gensei kinda treads closely to being a little biphobic but steers clear. Shun is being a Debbie Downer saying he couldn’t possibly win if he has to compete against women as well not knowing that Dai only has eyes for him. I love mess.
The guys then get a message that another cast member is arriving and they’re going to meet him. The meeting place is at a bar and while they wait for the new cast member to arrive Dai tries to get Kazuto to reveal who he’s interested in. It devolves into a rock paper scissors game where the loser has to reveal who they’re into and wouldn’t you know it Dai loses and he says he’s going to tell Shun who he’s into. Who is SHUN. The malicious gay faggotry is off the charts. And then the go-go boys enter because we still haven’t had enough malicious gay faggotry.
And just to ensure that the malicious gay faggotry meter is broken, the newest cast member is one of the go-go boys. The one that everyone of them thought was the hottest, 36-year-old Usak. As expected, the homosexuals are in a tizzy. And Dai isn’t shy about saying so. WHICH just makes Shun sulk. And I don’t blame him! Dai. Dzai. You just told Shun you were into him and then immediately fawned over the go-go boy. Maybe you’re the heartbreaker.
Ron Does Stuff 
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