Ron Does Stuff

Just like a lot of people during the global coronavirus pandemic, I really got into Wandavision. And now we’ve got a spin-off series! Let’s jump right into it!

And boy do we jump right into it as we get a scene of Agatha — the subtitles say Agens — driving. This looks like the scene in the teaser trailer where Agatha is like a police investigator and which New Rockstars tells me is a reference to Mare of Easttown, a show that I haven’t watched.

Agatha/Agnes is investigating the body of a Jane Doe, whose body was found with a library slip from Westview. Which of course is the city where Wandavision happened. And the body was crushed by something big and heavy, kinda liked how Wundagore Mountain crashed down on her in Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. A movie that was not my favorite, just saying.

As she walks around the crime scene she sees that brooch that she had on in Wandavision, but she doesn’t talk about it when questioned by Herb. And she also doesn’t recognize what is being heavily telegraphed as Wanda’s body. But that’s something will have to go back to later on as the opening credits play!

The title song is “Ballad of the Witches’ Road (True Crime Version)”, which of course means that each episode is going to be a send-up of a different television show genre, in the same way that Wandavision was a send-up of different sitcom eras. And I think the names of the actors are those of the characters in the show? Like main star “Agnes O’Connor” is Agatha who is played by Kathryn Hahn? I don’t know if I wrote that clearly.

And yes I am proven right because the credits actually had a part that said “Based on the Danish series Wandavisdysen” and I gotta say I already really like this show.

I also really like how I can still recognize the characters from Wandavision? Although I do wish I watched Mare of Easttown because I feel like I would get the references more and bring an extra layer of appreciation for the series.

Anyways, Agatha/Agnes is told that the library card is for a book that was stolen three years ago and is directed to the appropriate shelf…where she sees burned books instead. And then a mysterious man tells her that “every last copy” has been destroyed and I am assuming it is the Darkhold because Wanda’s destruction of Wundagore Mountain led to the destruction of every Darkhold across every reality.

The chief of police is another character from Wandavision and these poor suckers in Westview are always caught in some witch’s hex I would move immediately. And then we get the first non-Westview person in Rio Vidal, who is played by Aubrey Plaza and is supposed to be an FBI agent here.

And it’s very clear that Rio Vidal knows that this is an illusion but is playing along with Agatha/Agnes. And she’s pushing and pushing but Agatha/Agnes is resisting. The entire environment, including the “clues” to the “crime” she’s investigating, is knocking on Agatha/Agnes’ mind but she’s hesitating, and it’s a nice callback to Wandavision but is also a different way to attack that first show’s concept.

Rio Vidal visits Agatha/Agnes at her home and there’s some lite lesbian tension going on there but it’s broken by…Joe Locke, playing a character whose name we don’t know yet but I am hoping and praying is Wiccan because it’s been so long since I’ve injected anything Wiccan/Hulkling into my veins.

And then we get this totally cool interrogation scene where Not-Wiccan is being a sassy homo and chanting Latin at Agatha/Agnes as the crime scene photos end up being just yard pictures and Rio Vidal doesn’t appear to exist and it’s all a little disorienting for Agatha/Agnes.

She heads on over to the coroner’s where the Jane Doe’s body initially doesn’t exist but then is magically there after Agatha/Agnes recalls the body’s details. And then we get the scene for the teaser trailer and unfortunate confirmation that Wanda is indeed dead. But watch me ignore that, of course.

And then we get this really cool scene where Agatha/Agnes finally claws out of the hex/illusion that she’s in and it’s her shucking off all of the costumes she’s been in throughout Wandavision until she’s butt ass naked and stomps out onto Westview. The real Westview which kinda looks better now! And who apparently doesn’t mention Wanda’s name at all! Also was that Kathryn Hahn’s butt? Also what? A butt on Disney+?

But once that spell is broken the action quickly happens. Agatha finds out that Joe Locke’s character is real, which means that Rio Vidal is real, and Rio Vidal enters with a literal bang and tries to kill Agatha. But then we find out that it’s not allowed, which…is that still because of Wanda’s spell?

Either way, Agatha manages to convince Rio Vidal to not kill her just yet because Agatha reminds her that she prefers her “formidable”. There’s even some hand licking there and if the fandom doesn’t write f/f fanfiction of this then what was this television show even for then?