Ron Does Stuff

Young Royals is a show I always wanted to get into but work and plain old stubbornness stopped me from watching it. But I guess part of it is also being afraid that Netflix is going to shut it down with an incomplete story? Now that it’s done, I can be sure to get some sort of resolution!

The first episode opens with Prince Wilhelm having some sort of moment in what I assume is his bathroom and immediately I can appreciate that they haven’t put a Hollywood filter on him? His acne is pretty visible or at least I think it’s acne? Or are they freckles?

The prince is in trouble because he got into a fight in a bar and with the way everyone has a smartphone now, it quickly becomes a trending topic and the Royal Family has to do damage control. That damage control is shipping off Wilhelm to boarding school even if he doesn’t want to, on top of a broadcasted apology to the nation.

Already there’s some signs of what it is that’s troubling Wilhelm. Poor little rich boy is a given, but they’re really telegraphing very obviously that the Queen isn’t the easiest person to get along with. There’s resistance from Wilhelm, but at the end of the day he still has to think of his family and their duties to the nation and he goes along with his mother’s plan.

Wilhelm isn’t thrilled about moving in to Hillerska and I can see why. It’s all designed to burnish and further make him “other” from everybody else and for someone who isn’t even going to inherit the throne, it’s a lot. I understand why he feels why he feels. But as someone living in a Third World country with an always precarious financial situation, I can’t say I’m crying for him. Being all pouty because you have to take photos? Fuck off.

The show does try to show Wilhelm as the “better” royal, especially when placed alongside his cousin August. August is a monster and I don’t know if he gets a redemption in later seasons but they gotta work real hard if he does have that arc.

And then enters Simon, who immediately catches Wilhelm’s eye — ears? — during the choir performance to welcome the Crown Prince and Wilhelm. I mean I wouldn’t be able ignore Omar Rudberg either!

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Anyway, August is planning to “take care” of Wilhelm, which in his mind is providing him with booze and the “wildest initiation ever.” Because his classist goons failed to bring the liquor, August is considering roping in Simon for the task.

Meanwhile, Wilhelm is whining about having to live in a boarding school where everything’s provided for him. I know you’re the lead here but it’ starting to grate. The possibility of your homosexuality is the only thing keeping me patient.

Over at the heterosexual side of the school, August tries to get “socialist” Simon to give him a contact he can buy some liquor from and of course queer socialist Simon doesn’t want anything to do with it. Nouveau riche Felice is also feeling the sting of classism, if in an entirely different way than Simon. Sure, she’s richer than some of these actual royals, but she can’t fit in with the practices of these old rich people.

And Felice wants to fit in with these old rich people! Wants to fit in so much she’s touching herself to a fully clothed picture of Wilhelm. All power to you but couldn’t you at least find a shirtless photo to rub to? Let’s respect ourselves a little!

Back at Simon’s working class house, we get to hear him speak Spanish and I love it! Granted, I haven’t seen a lot of Swedish media but from what little I’ve seen it seems like Young Royals is keeping it as real as possible. It’s not all Nordic hotties! In fact, all of the teens here have visible acne and I love it so much. Not their acne, but the not bothering to cover it up.

We also get to see some family conflict in Simon’s household, as his sister Sara is not as resistant to the Hillerska…aesthetics? attitude? as Simon is. He tries to cover up for her because she really does hurt their mother’s feelings a bit, but i have a feeling she’s going to cause a lot of conflict further down the line.

Simon’s big plan to make Sara feel better about school is to give in to August’s demands and score the richies some booze so they can get to the third-year party. However, he has to meet his dad to get the booze and apparently, meeting his dad always ends with him feeling depressed.

I’m not clear on the timeline, but I’m assuming this is the next day and the class the kids are in seems to be…ethics? debate? They just agreed that murder is the worst crime one can commit followed by child molestation and rape, and now they’re being asked which one is worse, tax evasion or welfare scams. It’s time for socialist homo Simon to shine!

“Why is it ‘evasion’ for taxes. but ‘scam’ for welfare? It’s okay for the rich to cheat, but not the poor? It’s not called “welfare” for the rich. It’s ‘deduction.’” SIMON IS READING THESE RICH BITCHES TO FILTH. And the look on Wilhelm’s face while Simon is doing this? Delicious. And when Simon tells Wilhelm that Wilhelm and his family are the biggest receivers of welfare in the room? Oh I know Wilhelm was at least half hard.

After that illuminating class, Wilhelm sits across from Simon at lunch and tries to tell him that he liked what he said but Simon reads him again. Oh he’s fully erect now.

Later on in the day, Simon meets up with his father to get the booze and…well I get where Simon is coming from. The dude isn’t even my father and I’m depressed. Will they get to explore his story later on in the series? I’m curious.

Back at Hillerska, Wilhelm’s initiation is in full swing and has nobody told these teenagers that abducting somebody is never a good idea as a prank or initiation? Has none of them seen Jawbreaker?

And then they fucking kinda snowball him? Even I gagged and not in the good way. Afterwards, August tells him he’s sorry it got a little rough but he figured Wilhelm wouldn’t want special treatment, which…I mean it does make sense but it’s still horrible and I hate it.

We get a Skins-lite party scene and I am so scared about what’s going to happen to Sara. Especially now that she’s revealed she’s got Aspergers and ADHD? But maybe I am just being paranoid. I’m just never comfortable with how most media treat characters with Aspergers!

While Sara and Felice go find some air outside, Wilhelm finally makes his move and asks to spend time with Simon outside. Are we going to see ghei stuff? Are we? Are we?

I don’t know if what Wilhelm is saying is because he’s drunk, but he really does charm Simon with that whole “you were singing from your heart” spiel. I was won over. And then August and his friends start calling out for Wilhelm and through a gay turn of events Wilhelm has his hand over Simon’s mouth telling him to be quiet. One of them has got to be hard at this point. And then they make gay googly eyes at each other and the episode ends. Well, I’m hooked.