Ron Does Stuff

I was already looking out for this show ever since they announced that Jin would be a part of it, although at the time I thought it would just be a guest starring capacity. But it turns out he’s a part of the regular cast! Let’s check out this first episode!

Let me be upfront, I have no idea who Kian84 is. I only know that he’s famous in South Korea and that’s about it. The show starts with five-star reviews of the dream B&B that he conceptualized and drew, along with happy shots of him, Jin and Ji Ye-Eun enjoying the facilities.

Then it’s followed by the one-star reviews and quite frankly I could not deal with the putting the tray down the shorts. I’m sorry! I also felt some type of way about some of the “one-star” things that Kian does because eating with your hands? I grew up doing that and I don’t wanna assume but I think a lot of us in the ~Global South~ also grew up doing that. Is this South Korean show really trying to make it seem like Kian84 has found this groundbreaking way to enjoy life when it’s just how most Southeast Asians live? The same Southeast Asians Koreans are so virulently racist towards? But maybe I am getting ahead of the show so let’s calm down a little bit.

But the show takes us 130 back from the B&B’s opening to the Netflix Korea headquarters, where Kian is meeting with Netflix Korea people and sort of given carte blanche to do whatever he wants with his B&B. Here’s where I think I may have been a little defensive because Kian just seems to want a memorable stay for the B&B’s guest. Memorable, not relaxing. Maybe it was the eating with the hands being a “one-star behavior” that got me feeling some type of way.

The idea that Kian has is to build his B&B on a barge and basically have it be like one of those floating houses in Palawan where you jumo directly into the sea after waking up. Except it’s not going to be a luxury experience but more of the military enlistment experience.

Either way, Netflix Korea makes it happen and builds the B&B of Kian’s dreams. However, Kian only gets to meet his staff on the day of the B&B’s opening and while he’s made some suggestions on who to cast, he doesn’t really know who Netflix Korea got for him.

First up is SNL Korea‘s Ji Ye-Eun who I don’t really know but Kian says she’s going to be a star so I just go with it. I don’t even really know who Kian is but he obviously has more experience with the Korean entertainment industry so let’s go with what he says. Ye-Eun is looking to relax at the B&B but just like Kian said, he’s aiming more for memorable rather than relaxing.

Up next is Jin AND OF COURSE I GOTTA HYPE UP MY MAN. Check out his latest song, “Running Wild”.

Stream his album, Happy, on Spotify!

Kian and Ye-Eun are shocked that Netflix was able to nab Jin and frankly so was I. Ever since getting discharged from the military Jin has ben invovled in so many things that I didn’t think he would be able to fit this in his schedule. But he made it work!

Jin explains that he’s always wanted to do a show with Kian because he seems like a different species and that he wanted to know what he was really like by doing this show. Jin is actually the second BTS member that Kian has met by now because he also did I Live Alone with Hobi.

Check out the episode on YouTube! It’s subbed!

Also, stream Mona Lisa on YouTube and Spotify!

Okay, can I be shallow for a moment and say I love Jin’s skin tone in this one? And also how he works really hard to make everyone at ease with him and remove the awkwardness of having to make small talk with someone who is on a dizzying level of fame.

Anyways! We finally get to hear about the actual B&B, whose door is on the second floor and can only be accessed via rock climbing. The beds are also hanging beds on the side of the building and I would never get in one of those because I roll around when I sleep and will probably end up falling off and dying. But considering the world is on fire maybe that’s not such a bad idea? Moving on!

However, what really rocks Jin and Ye-Eun about the B&B is that it’s atop a barge on the sea. I hesitate to say the middle of the sea because you can still see land from the barge and I can’t even imagine what kind of insurance they have to get to insure putting Jin in the middle of the ocean.

We also find out that Kian doesn’t know who the guests are going to be either, especially since more than 35,000 teams — so I am assuming that’s more than 35,000 people — applied to be on the show. The teams have already been selected but it may not go smoothly for them as Jin’s chopstick breaks before they even get to the B&B, which could be a bad sign. I don’t know enough about Korean superstitious beliefs! Ye-Eun’s chopstick also breaks and that definitely is a bad sign and I don’t think you even have to be Korean to know it.

Then we get the news that Typhoon Shanshan has brought strong rains to the area and because it would be unsafe to have them sleep out in the open on a barge in the sea while a typhoon is over the area, there’s a possibility that they may not even be in the B&B on their first day. There are already scattered rocks and a truck accident as the drive to the port so maybe they have to recalibrate and stay in a conventional B&B for the moment?

They finally arrive at the B&B and to be fair, it does look nice and something that I wouldn’t mind trying out. Me, the decrepit eldritch creature who has gotten used to comfortable locations because I am ancient. But maybe it’s because I’m from the ~Global South~ but the place doesn’t look that bad! I’ve slept in worse places!

A call to the Coast Guard informs them that the barge can’t be taken out because of the typhoon but Kian has apparently planned for seasickness because of the barge rocking and also made an annex for the B&B and it’s located in the mountains.

And of course it’s not going to be easy to get there. They visited the site before the B&B opening and it’s a trip that includes a ride on a small rickety train? cart? for a over seven minutes and get their face right into the local flora. The actual place is a house that’s been abandoned for a decade but I am assuming they spruce this up as well not just because of the celebrities but I am assuming the guests can sue as well if something untoward happens to them. Also, how old am I because I recognize the tape player that Kian finds in the abandoned house?

In fairness to Jin, he immediately recognizes this as a unique experience and I gotta admit the view as they’re riding the monorail (?) is spectacular. And once again doesn’t seem all that bad to someone who’s grown up in the ~Global South~. I’d get on it!

The exterior of the annex doesn’t look that much improved, to be honest, but the interior is definitely an improvement. Not by a lot, but I’m guessing the majority of the renovation budget went to the B&B on the barge with its rock wall and all the other accoutrements. Now the waterpark feature? Where you swim in it and wash your clothes in it and you brush your teeth in it? Not liking that so much! Do they have socialized medicine in South Korea because it’s expensive to get confined to a hospital!

After a tour of the annex that includes a “Starfield Library” that genuinely has a beautiful view, the first guests call Kian and tell him they’ll be there in an hour, which means Kian, Jin, and Ye-Eun need to buy supplies — and they end up forgetting the cooking oil, which they then ask the guests to buy for them. Things are going great! They finish buying supplies and even end up running into their first guests, who are 21-year-old college students. And these college students still can’t believe they met a BTS member that they had to look him up on Naver and everything just to make sure that yes, it actually is Jin. The most famous person they’ve met in their lives.

Kian and Jin need to do some last minute cleaning and I gotta say, Jin really knows all about hospitality. That BTS World mobile game where he plays a hotel employee could have actually been an alternate career for him!

Now we get to know a little bit about the guests, who seem like entomologists? One of them bred mosquitoes in high school while the other knows the scientific names of ants. But lemme be biased here because Jin read the whole guest manual even before Kian did and he definitely is the most reliable one of the group so far. In fact, he’s a little bit comically incensed at how cavalier Kian is when introducing the B&B’s facilities to the guest.

And boy do the guests have their work cut out for them because as it turns out, there are two more guests coming. They have to get dinner ready and just hope that the food is ready by the time the other guests arrive. There’s also a cliffhanger thing where they try to make it look that something happened to Jin while Kian was lighting the fire but of course there’s no tension there because Jin has gone on a whole promotional cycle since this was filmed.