Ron Does Stuff

We’re back at it again with the Thai BLs! The last one I watched was ThamePo: Heart That Skips a Beat and…well, let’s just say it’s no Century of Love. I didn’t really know what Thai BL to pick next but Twitter made the decision for me because at one point my timeline was all about this show. So let’s dive right in!

We start the show with what looks like a car crash and a man with bite marks on his neck. There’s a mother and a child who I am assuming are running from the crash before they’re accosted by a black-robed figure who kills the mother as well. I thought we would be getting baby eating, but it turns out that it’s a dream that the main character, Tong, is having.

It’s not immediately clear to me what Tong’s situation is, but I think he’s living in a boys orphanage? There’s a lot of them in one room! Anyways, it’s Tong’s birthday and he and fellow orphan Tonkla are headed to Bangkok to study. We also find out that Tong isn’t even allowed to use knives because he musn’t bleed. ~Interesting~. I am guessing he’s the baby in his dream, but how did the humans know about his ~golden blood~? And I know about the golden blood because it’s in the trailer, okay?

Being told not to use a knife to cut his own birthday cake isn’t the only weird thing Tong has to contend with on his special day, because someone just left a guitar for him on the front door of the orphanage. Is this going to be like Edward going “I HAVE THE SKIN OF A KILLER BELLA”?

Anyways, Tong is one again reminded not to spill a drop of blood once he’s in Bangkok. Anything else is fine as long as he doesn’t spill a drop of blood so I guess getting his ass blown out is going to be a go?

After the opening credits, we finally get to see Tong and Tokla in Bangkok and these are pretty huge apartments for a couple of orphans to live in. Is this a case of ~drama real estate~ or are rents in Bangkok really affordable? Or at the very least, you get what you pay for? And now we find out that it’s only Tokla who is going to work a part-time job, with Tong strictly prohibited from doing so. That is the life.

But Tong is really insistent, so when Tokla’s two gigs overlap, and he just happens to find the calling card for Tokla’s waiter gig, he decides to take on the job himself despite being told not to do so. If it were me I would have enjoyed not working, but I also get why Tong would want to do so, seeing as he’s been made to believe that he’s a hemophiliac and been prevented from doing a lot of things growing up. There’s also the fact that someone really seems to be constantly watching him. DUN DUN DUN.

At the actual job, we find out that Tonkla isn’t really that good of a worker and since Tong is pretending to be Tonkla the management’s got their eyes on him. Because tonight’s event is a super important night! It’s the launch of a cosmetic product that I’m guessing is anti-aging and that the company behind it is made up entirely of vampires. What better way to market your anti-aging product than not aging yourself? Kinda like Isabelle Rossellini in Death Becomes Her.

We get to meet the obvious vampires — at least obvious to the audience — Nakan and Meena, who are part of the company selling the anti-aging serum. During a red carpet interview, one of the reporters gets pushed onto Nakan, with her mic hitting his watch. One, she’s obviously a rookie because any journo who’s been out there for a longer time would know how to stand so they don’t get pushed around. Two, if the watch really is that expensive, somebody hitting it with a mic shouldn’t be an issue. Either way, the reporter is going to get eaten, I guess.

Elsewhere in the venue, Tong is handing out drinks to the guests and I do not envy him that job because a lot of people are assholes to wait staff. Pro tip: if the person you’re with is an asshole to wait staff, break up with them! Anyways, while that’s happening, the reporter gets dispatched and Nakan says no one’s going to miss a reporter, which makes me go huh? They have organizations/publications they report to! Editors! They are definitely going to be missed especially if they’re covering what seems to be an important beat: a high-performing Thai company. What are we doing here? Unless that reporter is just a vlogger? That would be more believable.

Tong is then asked to serve the pool area, where his heart is promptly sent racing by this:

And then there’s a little K-drama thing where Tong trips and vampire dude catches him before he hurts himself! Am also assuming from the way the vampire dude reacts that he’s the one that’s been secretly watching over Tong since Tong was a child.

When Tong offers to get the vampire a new drink the vampire asks for a Bloody Mary and I’m like COME ON. A Bloody Mary? A Bloody Mary? You want a Sangria too? Anyway, vampire dude says to bring the drink to his room and you know what that means. FAGGOTRY. The manager thinks as much because when he hears that Mark — the vampire — wants Tong to bring the drink to his room, he says he doesn’t want the staff to have side jobs. HE JUST CALLED YOU A FILTHY WHORE TONG.

And you know what, Tong might as well be because he delivers the drink RIGHT AS MARK IS PULLING HIS PANTS UP. We even get a shot of his WHITE BRIEFS riding into his ass crack and I think this is the first time I’ve seen this in a Thai BL? Like I know in Century of Love they make out pretty heavily in the first episode but both of them were still wearing pants?

It really looks like Mark has been the presence guarding Tong all along because he asks him how he ended up working here and then gives him money and tells him not to work this kind of job again. Tong really is a whore! Unfortunately, Mark makes the mistake of calling Tong Tong (tong tong pakitong kitong) when he’s supposed to be Tonkla, making Tong freak out and drop the Bloody Mary and prick his finger with the broken glass in the process.

AND THEN THAT ONE PINPRICK OF BLOOD ALERTS ALL THE VAMPIRES IN THE BUILDING. DAMN. But really, it’s Mark Tong should be worried about because Mark sticks Tong’s bleeding finger into his mouth and you see his tongue lick at the blood first? What is this MALICIOUS GAY FAGGOTRY?

Mark then presses Tong up against a wall and then nibbles on his ear? My goodness I am a pure soul what is this filth? Is there more of it? Please provide timestamps I need to see more. Mark throws Tong on top of the bed and gets on top of him and holds his hands down on the bed and my god. Can they monetize this on YouTube?

However, Mark stops himself once he sees Tong’s bracelet, which I assume they’re ging to explain later on in the show. What they need to deal with now is Nakan, who is not in front of Mark’s suite, drawn there by Tong’s blood. Mark takes Tong and crashes through a window to escape Nakan and we’ll forgive the VFX because this is a show by our SEA brothers and sisters.

They conveniently land on Mark’s car without damaging it and drive away from the hotel, with Mark telling Tong that he isn’t sick but is something much worse. Meanwhile, Nakan is in Mark’s room, smelling the Bloody Mary Mark left behind. I don’t know if he’s making things unnecessarily complicated, but you could just as easily ask the concierge who’s staying in the room? You’ve got powers, read the concierge’s mind!

Mark takes Tong to a night market to tell them the truth of who or what he is but Tong makes a run for it instead when Mark isn’t looking. But rather than escape, Tong runs into a child vampire who could have eaten him if it weren’t for Mark’s intervention. Mark tells Tong they can’t be in this market anymore and then they…teleport, I guess? Move real fast? To what I assume is Mark’s home. Seems liek the drive to the night market was pointless but I’m not mad about it.

It’s here at Mark’s home that we get the show’s “Say it, out loud” scene.

We then find out what having ~golden blood~ means: basically Tong is Sookie from True Blood, except he doesn’t have a fairy vagina. This show really is pulling from every source.

We also get confirmation that it’s been Mark protecting Tong all along. I’m guessing Nakan is the one that killed Tong’s parents because it’s kinda obvious by now that Tong’s dream at the beginning of the episode is actually what happened to his parents.

So far, so derivative. But my god, it’s such a fun watch. Can’t wait for episode two!