Ron Does Stuff

I’m back with these teen homosexuals from the United Kingdom! What’s in store for these kids after the hicky incident from the previous episode? Let’s find out!

The kids are still in France, but this time around, Charlie and Nick are very proudly walking around the city holding each other’s hand. Or at least until they get back to the designated meeting point where Nick is set to meet his French father.

The meeting with the French father is awkward. It’s clear they haven’t interacted in a while, and when Nick’s father tells him to keep up with the rugby because the girls love it, Nick can’t find the strength to tell him that, no, in this particular instance it’s a boy that’s loving this particular rugby player. I mean, I’m sure Charlie’s got a Dieux du Stade calendar somewhere?

Back at the hotel, both Elle and Tao come clean to their friend groups and tell them that the two of them kissed. But while the two of them are enjoying the thrill of their first three kisses, the friend group is trying to push them towards a relationship. Sometimes you just wanna make out with someone and that’s totally fine!

But to further their agenda, the friend group goes exploring the hotel together, which of course Tao and Elle take as permission to make out in different corners of the hotel. Nick and Charlie don’t get to make out though, because the teachers catch them almost doing it. Homophobia!

Internalized homophobia! Because it comes from Mr. Farouk, who admits that he only realized he was gay when he was in his late 20s, missing out on the whole gay teenage experience. In all seriousness, that’s a reality for a lot of gay men of a certain generation. Because of families who aren’t accepting, or because of an environment that is literally dangerous, gay kids stay in the closet and never really experience the carefree adolescence that straight teens take for granted.

The next day is Darcy’s birthday and Darcy apologizes for being a bad girlfriend and promises Tara that she’ll make it up to her today in a big way, which just makes me anxious because for sure something is going to fuck things up. But for now, the kids have fun exploring Paris and we get pretty shots!

When the kids get back to the hotel, Tao is now much more relaxed when it comes to Nick and Charlie staying alone in the room by themselves, since he is also getting some kissing time in with Elle. And since Nick and Charlie are MALICIOUS GAY FAGGOTS, things get lovey-dovey pretty quickly.

But the boys separate themselves from each other soon enough to go to the party Darcy’s arranged for Tara, while well-intentioned, the party doesn’t exactly help the situation between Darcy and Tara, because while it’s meant to celebrate Tara, Darcy’s spending more time entertaining the guests than she is with her girlfriend. Who the party is for.

While that impending disaster is ongoing, Tao and Elle are making out in the bathroom, Isaac continues to feel out of place amongst all the people making out, and then Ben walks into the party. So there’s going to be several disasters.

The first one happens in the hallway, where Isaac has deposited himself, and also where he gets kissed by James. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly what both of them expected, and it just ends up being awkward.

Charlie and Nick, at least, get to avert their disaster for now. Harry and some of his friends come over and want to join the party, hoping that a half-assed apology for his previous homophobia is going to get them in. It doesn’t, so there’s some celebration, but that doesn’t address the Ben in the room.

As is always the case in teen parties the world over, Truth or Dare eventually gets played, and of course some messy kid wants Charlie to first make out with James, and when that doesn’t happen, asks him to kiss Ben. Ben walks out, and when Charlies picks truth instead and gets asked about who gave him the hickey, Nick finally takes the opportunity to come out as Charlie’s boyfriend.

Darcy, because she is a homophone, starts to get sick and runs to the teachers’ room to promptly vomit on one of the beds. Why she didn’t just go to the bathroom to vomit, I will never understand. But at least the adult homosexuals now have a reason to share that one bed!

Nick and Charlie also get to share one bed, but not because someone vomited on the other one. Tao and Isaac are staying in the girls’ room, and these two teen homos grab the opportunity they’re presented with. Do it while you still can because your teen years are over before you know it! They ~fight~ on the bed, but those two bodies rubbing against each other, at one of the most hormone-fueled stages in one’s life? Of course, things get a little heated — at least by Heartstopper standards — and Nick steps on the brakes because he’s not ready yet. If this was Young Royals, somebody would have been spreading someone else’s legs.

Over at the restroom that Darcy should have puked in rather than the teachers’ room, Darcy and Tara resolve their problems after Darcy finally says I love you and Tara kisses her despite having just vomited on one of the teachers’ beds and not in the toilet of the bathroom where the two of them are right now. That vomit-kissing does remind me of The Shoebox Project! Particularly Part 23!

Meanwhile, the adult gays finally get to do some adult gay stuff. They definitely deserve some adult time because corralling teenagers? Tiring. Even if they’re relatively well-behaved compared to the Swedes of Young Royals.