Ron Does Stuff

Mark and Tong ended the last episode unaware of the danger that awaits them as Nakan has slipped something into Tonkla that will allow him to control him later on. This is why you don’t let Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood dickmatize you, Mark!

This episode opens with Mark and Tong still making out on the beach, mary a care in the world, with Tong saying that what Mark’s doing right now is beyond a bodyguard’s duty. Becauser we’re still maintaining that fiction seven episodes in. Even Mark calls him out on it. Tong tells Mark that he wants them to stay like this forever, which just means that Nakan is going to jump up from somewhere and ruin the fun.

The two of them are aware of Nakan, at least, as they talk about the events that lead to the making out on the beach. Mark now knows that Nakan knows that Tong has the precious fairy vagina Golden Blood. And would you look at that, Tong floats the possibility that Nakan might hypnotize one of his friends to get to him. Like Tonkla, for example. Tong thinks they should warn everyone about this possibility, but Mark think the fewer people know about Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood, the better.

The next day over breakfast, Tonkla says he heard the hotel staff talking about a fight that happened the night before, which was of course Tong fending off a literal child. But the literal child just gifted him a cowrie shell bracelet so she’s probably fine, and she also knows that Tong is a homosexual but couldn’t find the more appropriate puka shells.

Tonkla also shared that they met with Nakan that night, who treated them to cocktails, and Mark does this one eybrow raise that I gotta admit I find very attractive. I am a simple man.

The next day, Mark walks in on Thara on the floor, and they quickly set her up with a blood IV, a hospital bed, and a headband that makes her look like Sophia Loren from Legally Blonde. It’s a great look! The whole sprawled on the floor thing came about because Thara was using her power too much, so know they have to let her rest and replenish with artificial blood.

Thara warns that now that Nakan knows that Tong has the precious fairy vagina Golden Blood, he will double his efforts to get to Tong. And like the old saying goes, speak of the devil, and he shall appear, Nakan walks into Thara’s room with a bouquet of roses and a plan to take over the board of the vampire company that Thara runs. We’re seven episodes in a 12-episode series! You can’t just dump a corporate takeover storyline when all you’ve been giving us is vampire homosexuality!

The board meeting starts and Mark says he’s been given the role of acting chairman by Thara. Nakan counters that Mark is too busy being a college student to run the company, to which Mark responds that isn’t Mark a professor at the same university? Here in my room, I ask, WHY ARE YOU RICH VAMPIRES DOING ALL THESE MUNDANE THINGS. LET THE MORTALS HANDLE IT.

Anyways, Nakan says he teaches there to establish a connection with the mortals, while Mark is hanging out with his boytoy. What’s so important about that mortal, Nakan asks, and of course Mark can’t answer. Nakan says he’s much more transparent than Mark and more deserving of the role of acting chairman, and I’m like…is no mortal noticing the different jobs these vampires are doing?

We don’t get to see who wins the acting chairman role, but we do get to see how prepared Nakan was for this part of his plan. All the CCTV footage that showed he set the literal child on Tong have been deleted, footage that Mark was planning to show to the Board of Directors so that they would vote for him and not Nakan. I’m wondering how Mark keeps his life in order because you’re an executive one moment and then a college student the next.

Nakan’s maneuvers, however, have an unintended effect. Tong now thinks the best course of action is to move in with Mark, so that no one else gets hurt among his mortal friends. Mark brings up that Tong used to say living with him is suffocating, but I think Mark is forgetting that Tong now wants to be suffocated between Mark’s thighs.

While Tong and Mark thinks it’s a great idea to move in together, Tonkla is being homophobic wondering why Tong and Mark’s “research project” still isn’t done that they’re working on it even during the school break. Tonkla begins to suspect that there may be something going on between Mark and Tong other than research, and he would be correct! But what can he do anyway?

Over at Mark’s place — I think Tong has moved back already? — he tells one of his minions not to let anybody in his room, but as soon as he’s gone, the minion calls one of Nakan’s minions, and they break into Mark’s home. Why Mark never suspected anyone in his home, I don’t really know. But maybe it’s going to be a fake out later on in the episode, and we find out this was actually him flushing out the mole!

Those were indeed Nakan’s goons, but Mark seems to have anticipated this because they didn’t find anything in Mark’s house. He already knew there was a mole! I should not have underestimated you, Mark. Rather than stay in the huge house — that probably took a big chunk of this show’s budget — they stay at the flower shop shown early on in the show. There’s a bookcase in the shop that is actually a door leading to a room in which there are no others.

As soon as they’re inside the room where there are no others, Mark is on Tong, sniffing him because he likes it more than anything in the world. But Tong pushes Mark off because he wants to shower and Mark says why don’t we shower together?

Mark says nah, and I say, “Why not?” The world is burning, Tong. Water is scarce. Save water and shower together.

Later that night, we find out that maybe Tonkla wasn’t fine with Tong leaving, after all. He still hasn’t replied to Tong’s texts, but Tong thinks its better this way than Tonkla ending up in danger. Also, he’s got Mark with him in a room where there are no others so I honestly think Tong doesn’t really care that much right now. Especially when they do a sorta upside down kiss like this.

DID SOMEBODY SAY UPSIDE DOWN KISS

Stream it on Spotify too!

While the homosexuals are homosexualing, Nakan is ingratiating himself into Tong’s friend group. I don’t know how this will help him find Tong since even Tonkla doesn’t know where he is, but let’s see how things turn out! Nakan is luring Tonkla somewhere with ฿20,000 or ₱35,301 and I can’t believe Tonkla’s earning more money than I am.

Tong finally gets to talk with Tonkla after who knows how long, but the conversation doesn’t go the way Tong thought it would. He learns that Tonkla has been hanging around with Nakan — I’d hang around him too if he gave me ₱35,000 for a day’s work — and he starts contemplating if he should tell Tonkla the truth about him and Mark. The two of them end up deciding that it’s to let Tonkla in on the secret, after Mark meets Thara.

BUT, apparently Nakan knows that this would be their course of action, because he manages to trick Tong into going to him. BUT — that’s two buts now — Thara has a vision and tells Mark that Tong is in danger. Does he know that Tong’s at the medical center? Maybe he’ll find out!

At the medical center, Tonkla stumbles on vampires drinking human blood, while Tong is cornered by Nakan. However, Nakan doesn’t eat him, but instead tries to hypnotize him. It doesn’t work, so does this mean Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood makes him like Bella or something? But why does Mark’s healing powers work on him? Nakan does leave him with an ominous warning that him turning 21 isn’t the end of all this, but just the beginning.

Anyways, Tong gets out of that Nakan encounter unscathed, and with all that he’s seen today, Tonkla also gets looped in on the whole vampire society living alongside humans. He and Tong patch things up, with the promise that there’s going to be no more secrets between them. So does this mean Tong will come out as a homo? Oh no. Of course not.

Mark and Tong also decide it’s best for Tonkla to move in with them, and I can’t help but feel like I’m watching Lestat and Louis making Claudia. Not that there’s any parallels other than they’re both vampire media, it’s just that the other show I’ve been watching has been Interview with the Vampire.

Later that night, Mark tells Tong that his dream is to live a life with Tong, which of course gets Tong going and I think they were supposed to fuck until Mark accidentally (?) bit Tong’s lip? And now he’s hungry for Tong in an entirely different way.