Ron Does Stuff

We left Mark and Tong in the previous episode almost about to have sex, but a spot of blood on Tong’s lips might have turned things much more dangerous than expected. Will Mark be able to resist Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood? Let’s find out!

Mark is able to resist! Although it’s after some protests from Tong, who has to remind him that it’s him. It’s definitely a boner killer, though, and Mark walks out, apologizing to Tong along the way.

Rather than risk accidentally killing Tong, Mark resorts to just smelling the drop of blood that got on his shirt, which gets us this crazy shot. HE’S GOONING AND BAITING IN THAT TUB. I actually thought he was just going to smell the shirt, but apparently you can show GOONING AND BAITING on YouTube!

They even pan down his body all the way to the navel! GOONING AND BAITING! This goes on for a little over a minute, I think. GOONING AND BAITING! They even have his O face on film and everything! GOONING AND BAITING!

He grips the tub and everything when he cums! Also, do vampires in this universe still have cum? QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS.

After GOONING AND BAITING in the tub, Mark leaves Tong alone, who wakes up in bed by himself. He finds Mark in the flower shop and tells him that what happened last night was okay. Sure, Mark almost ate him, but Mark got himself under control, right? Tong says they’ll find a way to do this, but I think Mark has already found that GOONING AND BAITING is a good coping mechanism.

With that out of the way, Mark, Tong, and Tonkla head to Thara, who has summoned Tong to her. They leave Tonkla in the car, which just tells me that he’s going to end up being a Nakan snack or something. But maybe it’s going to be Tong who ends up being the snack because Thara asks for some of his blood so that they can turn it into medicine. Does Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood cure vampirism? But do the vampires even want to be cured?

Anyways, because of this, Thara tells Tong not to trust anyone, not even Tonkla, after they had that whole discussion in the previous episode, and I think it’s a bit lazy of the show to go this route again, but whatever. I’m willing to let it go because this show just gave me GOONING AND BAITING in the tub.

Although maybe Thara has a point because Nakan does the obvious thing and tells his class — that includes Mark, Tong, and Tonkla — that The Illiad will be their lesson this semester. He tells them about the Trojan Horse, and just basically telegraphs to Mark and Tong that love is the Trojan Horse that will destroy them. You can’t accuse the show’s writers of subtlety!

After the class, Tonkla feels left out when Mark stops Tong from telling him about what their plans are, which is the perfect in for Nakan, who tells Tonkla that Mark doesn’t have good intentions for him. He also drives a wedge between Tong and Tonkla, telling Tonkla that he’s scraping by trying to get through university while Tong has a vampire sugar daddy who is GOONING AND BAITING over him in the tub.

While Tonkla is being tempted, Mark and Tong are headed…somewhere. Tong is conveniently singing the theme song of the show because from what I understand Gawin Caskey is actually a singer and has been singing theme songs for these shows for a while now. When they arrive at the place…I have no idea what it is since I can’t read Thai, but it does have pictures from when Mark was still human and he admits to being nostalgic when he looks at those photos. I think this is like Intramuros or something? They put on old-timey clothes and get their photos taken.

It’s all cutesy stuff at first, but Mark gets a little reality check when he takes Tong to a museum and says that one couple in the photos was together for 85 years. He tells Tong that he can be with him for longer than that, but Tong says he can’t live that long. Will Mark turn Tong? Or will Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood turn Mark human, since it’s kinda being doing that for most of the show anyway?

I do wish that the show dwelled on that question a little longer but we move away from that topic and have Mark give Tong a first monthsary gift. Can I just say that I am so old that I was around when monthsary as a word was first bandied around? I’ve seen the whole progression of people scoffing at it to now it being accepted lingo. I am an ancient eldritch creature.

The monthsary celebration continues back in their room in which there are no others. Tong sings Mark the theme song and Gawin does have a nice voice, not gonna lie. Not a bad monthsary gift either!

With all the monthsary stuff out of the way, Mark finally extracts Tong’s blood and is on his way to have it be turned into medicine but he’s accosted by Nakan’s goons. The goons say he’s being accosted because he took blood without permission, but Mark isn’t about to go with them to wherever so we get a fight scene that’s…okay, I guess? Didn’t really think it was necessary but whatevs.

Tonkla, on the other hand, feels left out of the loop again, especially after that little seed of doubt that Nakan planted in his mind. And now Nakan fully exploits that seed of doubt by showing Tonkla a video of Mark beating up his minions, saying that Marks’ going to exploit Tong’s precious fairy vagina Golden Blood. Okay, so maybe I should trust the show a little more. That fight scene was necessary.

Things are thrown into even more chaos after Tonkla receives a call that their foster parent? caretaker? Miss Nuan from the orphanage all the way back in episode one got into a car accident. And guess who’s volunteered to take the two of them to their foster parent? Nakan! He doesn’t engage in any shenanigans on the way to the hospital, but this may be the show’s way of obfuscating his true plan.

What is his plan? Outwardly, he’s being helpful towards Tong and Tonkla — they’re having this conversation in front of the orphanage kids who are standing stock still in front of them, it’s kinda hilarious — but we still haven’t been given a peek into his inner workings. He’s really insistent on making Tong distrust Mark by using the video of Mark beating up his minions, but why should Tong be moved by that when Nakan used a literal child to attack him?

Tonkla can’t believe Tong still believes in Mark after that one video they saw, and honestly, Tonkla being this much of a nuisance really isn’t working out for me because the show hasn’t been consistent with his characterization. First, he’s someone you can’t rely on for a job as shown in episode one, and then he’s someone who refuses handouts because principles, and then he’s someone who’s okay with getting assignment answers from Mark. And then to for him to accuse Tong of not trusting after he got let into the loop of vampires in Thailand? What are we doing here?

I’m not saying that we can’t have conflict in stories because a story without conflict is boring. But can we at least get a well-written one? Either the characters change so quickly, or we retread issues that were supposedly resolved in earlier episodes. It’s frustrating!

I’m so frustrated with the Tonkla part of the plot that I’m rolling my eyes a bit when Mark and Tong have their argument, but if I distance myself enough, I can acknowledge that it’s a nice little scene. A nice little scene that leads into them making out, and then Tong bleeding from his lips again, but this time around he’s not letting Mark go and do some GOONING AND BAITING in the bathroom. What he’s going to let Mark do is hit it. It being his ass.