Ron Does Stuff

I think everyone has been excited about this show since it was announced, and now that it’s here, let’s not bother with introductions and just dive right in!

First to enter the main stage is Arizona Brandy, who we all know for her drunken antics and contact lens-eating. She says she only came to Drag Race Philippines Season 2 to have fun and drink, but now she’s here to win.

Up next is Yuhua, who was 12th place on the American Drag Race, and who most Drag Race fans know by know for her Bootleg Opinions. She may have dropped the Hamasaki from her name, but she’s still very Harajuku girl, in my opinion.

Brigiding then enters, who I believe is now part of Sasha Velour’s house? I feel like I read that somewhere. The drag has definitely improved since Season 1 and even Yuhua says she’s a fierce drag entertainer. I also like that they’re not editing out the wrong grammar because damn it, English is our second language! We were colonized!

The fourth queen to enter the main stage is Siam Phussi and you know what? Let her have that intro, she did her best in a language she doesn’t even have to use! She could have just said it in English!

We then get to Misis Viñas Deluxe, who is still as Misis as ever. Also, I forgot she was seventh place during her season? I thought she placed higher! Also, Arizona Brandy’s confessional for Viñas is already a win for me, I’ve been laughing throughout.

Ivory Glaze is the sixth queen to enter and I gotta admit, I did not watch Drag Race Down Under past…that episode in Season 2 where Kween Kong did her tumble. But Ivory Glaze’s mug in and out of drag is giving.

Queen number seven is Bernie and she is as irrepressible as ever. She was my favorite and I really thought she was going to win, or at least be in second place. But, alas.

Kitty Space from Drag Race France season 2 is up next and to be quite honest, I barely remember her! But then again, Drag Race France had the powerhouse that is Keiona so it’s quite understandable, I think.

Sum Ting Wong is up next and I am sorry but the first person I think of is Andrew Garfield, who was the judge during the first episode of her Drag Race UK season.

Madame Yoko from Drag Race Belgique season two is up next and…I only watched the first season of Belgique and I barely remember it.

Suki Doll from Drag Race Canada is up next and unfortunately, what I remember about her is some asshole on Twitter using her for stan wars and then backtracking when they got called out. Sorry, I know she wasn’t actually involved but that’s the first thing that came to mind!

Khianna is up next and who can forget Khianna? I met her during the Global All Stars watch party organized by Eva Le Queen! Check out my photos from that event below!

The intros end, Mama Pao enters and does her thing, and I have to sayh it’s so fucking exciting!

We don’t even get to see the queens go into the Werk Room because we dive right into a mini challenge — with a corporate sponsor! — that is a hairography challenge. And there’s a cash tip! Thank you, corporate sponsor!

First off is Arizona and Siam and ARIZONA FUCKING TAKES OFF HER HAIR AND KINDA USES IT LIKE POM POMS? LIKE HER PONYTAIL? I FUCKING CACKLED. Sorry, Siam, you kinda got outperformed here.

Madame Yoko and Bernie are up next and while I thought Bernie was underperforming she suddenly removes her wig, then her wig cap, WHERE THERE’S ANOTHER WIG.

Brigiding and Kitty Space are a more even match, I think. Especially when compared to Khianna and Suki Doll, where Khianna just bulldozes poor Suki. Suki even loses her wig at one point. Yuhua and Viñas are also a more even match. Khianna wins the challenge, which isn’t really a surprise.

The Maxi Challenge is a Miss Shutacca Slaysian Edition and…well, I didn’t like it when they first did it, so I don’t know if I’m going to like this one. But I think they’re doing it as kind of a Ball, this time around? There’s National Costume, Evening Gown, and Question and Answer. BUT, since this isn’t Drag Race France, the mini challenge actually counts for something so Khianna doesn’t just win a cash prize, she also gets five extra seconds for the Q and A portion and can subtract five seconds from another queen. The shade of it all!

Khianna picks Arizona literally because of Filipino hospitality, which allows Arizona to deliver yet another fun confessional. She’s the narrator of the season! We also get a really nice insight into Arizona’s career post-Drag Race Philippines, since she constantly gets compared to Marina Summers and Khianna.

On elimination day, we also get Madame Yoko’s story as a Vietnamese adoptee, which I think doesn’t get told enough. With so many of them having to leave their home country at a young age because of the Vietnam War, and often adopted by white parents, it’s got to be difficult to grow up in a country where you are so obviously different.

We then find out that the judges for this season are all going to be drag queens! I know they were all announced earlier, but I thought they would just be the extra special guest judges and not the actual judges. Exciting!

The runway starts and I had thoughts at first but then we got to Arizona Brandy and she got me with that “What will you do with a kilo of vegetable when a bottle of liquor is more affordable?” ‘Yung tawa ko, mga bakla hahahahahahaha! I know there are other outfits but that fucking line from Arizona. I couldn’t think of anything else. Okay, maybe Khianna’s kalabaw look stuck with me.

Up next is the Ruveal runway and the standouts to me are Bernie, Ivory, Madame Yoko, and Khianna. I didn’t actually think Arizona’s Ruveals were done smoothly BUT THAT FUCKING MERKIN TURNING INTO A BANG PIECE IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

The question and answer portion is…well it’s something. I mean, we did need a low point. You can’t win them all! After that, we find out that it’s going to be an All Stars elimination format with this season. The top two queens will lip sync for their legacy, with the winner sending one queen home.

Yuhua, Viñas, Bernie, Ivory Glaze, and Suki Doll are safe. The critiques start and right off the bat, it really does look like Sum Ting Wong is going to be one of the bottom queens, along with Madame Yoko. Khianna and Siam Pussi are the top two queens and…okay, I guess I’m okay with Siam. Khianna was already a given because duh.

Sum Ting Wong is devastated in the Werk Room, and I kinda get why because what she talks about is what a lot of Asian people who didn’t grow up in their own culture talk about. BUT Sum Ting immediately cancels any goodwill other queens might have felt when she cuts off Madame Yoko. I’d like to think Madame Yoko isn’t pleased.

The lip sync song for this first episode is “Debut” by Katseye! Let’s watch their Lollapalooza performance!

Stream it on Spotify!

OH THEY ALSO GET P80,000 IF THEY WIN THE LIP SYNC. Again, I think Khianna is the winner here, even before the lip sync starts. Siam is outdanced and even out lip-synced, I think. At least from what I saw!

And Khianna wins! BUT, I did not expect her to send Madame Yoko home first. From her description I thought she was talking about Sum Ting, but apparently not!