Ron Does Stuff

It’s a new season of Drag Race España! Let’s get right into it!

First to enter is Alexandra del Ravel and her opening line is literally talking about ass-to-mouth, with a HUGE chest plate on. Talk about making an impression!

Margarita Kalifata is up next and I’d say she’s toned it down a bit, but she still opens with I’ve got boobs but no pussy. The queens really aren’t holding back this season! Already, she and Alexandra are trading barbs after Alexandra called her a fried egg because of her yellow outfit.

Up next is Laca Udilla, who is probably referencing a figure from Spanish history that I don’t know about, but kudos to the production for going full black and white and everything just for her entrance. The production really is not holding back this season!

Turns out she’s very well-connected in the Spanish drag scene. She’s friends with Pakita and Hornella Góngora from Season 3 and Le Coco, the winner of Season 4. But then the production is a shady bitch because they show her chair collapsing so I just think this means she’s going to be the first one to go home this season.

Ferrxn is up next and I’m sorry, but the first queen that came to mind was Crystal Methyd. A toned down Crystal Methyd. She’s then followed by Krystal Forever, who is 52 years old. I think she’s the oldest queen to ever go on the show? Angelita La Perversa was only 44 when she competed.

Nori is up next and…well, she wore something. Considering nudity is her thing, I guess it’s already a serve that she’s covered up! And apparently, Laca Udilla knows her as well! Laca Udilla, the Facebook of Spanish drag.

Eva Harrington comes in and tears up Carmen Farala’s picture, which is a bold move considering the only thing notable about her is her wig. If you’re going to go after Carmen, you better be on a different level because Carmen is fierce.

She’s then followed by Dafne Mugler, who walks in with a faux Mugler star. She’s only been doing drag for two years, but that headpiece definitely says she’s not a newbie at this. She’s also a ballerina! AND 20. My goodness, a baby!

Nix is up next and…is it something to do with N-names? Because she put about just as much effort as Nori. She’s followed by Satin Greco who says she’s 39 and I am not believing her. Her outfits great, though. But apparently, she’s a legend in the Spanish scene. The Daenerys of Spanish drag, according to Margarita.

Denébola Murnau is up next and she reminds me of Pixie Pixie from Drag Race Mexico Season 1. She’s then followed by La Escándalo and of course the first thing I think of is Jessica Wild. She’s the last queen to enter, which means it’s Supremme’s turn to enter the Werk Room.

We get our first change of the season, which is that the prize money has been bumped up to €50,000, or P3,389,500 based on current exchange rates. That’s a lot of money! We then get immediately to the mini challenge, where they have to find two halves of a heart, which will matter in the competition somewhere down the line. I’m guessing it’s some sort of save?

Okay, it turns out there are multiple hearts! Everybody gets half a heart anyway, so it probably isn’t about a save. But then Supremme probably heard me all the way back when this was filmed because she explains that the heart could save the queens from an elimination, and here’s how! The eliminated queen leaves her half of the heart to someone, and if that completes the other queen’s half, they can use it to either bring someone back to the competition or save themselves from elimination. And they have to do it on the day. Have to admit I had to rewatch that bit a few times to understand.

The queens then de-drag and the shady shot of Denébola? The shade of it all.

As the queens prepare for the talent show Maxi Challenge the next day, the queens tell Satin Greco she must be feeling some pressure because of her reputation as a performer. She says she doesn’t want to be the first one out, which just bodes terribly for her. Is she going to be the first one out?

Krystal Forever is the first one performing, and while it’s eye-catching the first few seconds in, I kinda lost interest as it went on? And that’s saying a lot because Drag Race España is not stingy when it comes to providing the queens with back-up dancers and props and everything.

Eva Harrington is up next and props to her for singing live, but again, it wasn’t exactly show-stopping for me. Maybe because I’ve watched too much Drag Race, but I’m looking for something new.

La Escándalo sings a song about condoms and safe sex, which I only managed to figure out because she said condom at the start and I just connected the dots. Also she said respetado and cuerpo and I know those mean respect and body. When she starts a tutorial on how to put a condom on while on stage, I laughed. First act of the talent show where I was entertained, and they didn’t even provide translations for the song!

Dafne Mugler is making full use of her ballerina experience right from the beginning of her talent show, which then turns to her doing ballet moves to Britney Spear’s “Toxic”. It was good! But I can’t shake the feeling that it could have been better. This is an opinion from someone who can’t dance, by the way, so I could just be misinterpreting what might have been a great performance, since Denébola said it looked great. The greatness somehow just didn’t translate to the screen, if that’s the case. Blame the editors!

Margarita Kalifata is up next and she spins plates! Which was entertaining for a bit, but I kinda expected her to spin more plates. She’s followed by Nix, who does…a roast? I think it’s too early to do this in the competition, especially if you’re not a queen like Bob the Drag Queen or Bianca del Rio.

Denébola performs after Nix, and she does a spoken word performance that I feel is important, but since the show doesn’t provide subtitles for this, I can only rely on Los Javis faces. They seem enthralled, so it must be good! Ana Locking even teared up and I love Ana Locking.

It’s Nori who performs after Denébola and…well. It was something! I thought she was going to do something like Rajah O’Hara did for All Stars, but I guess not!

Ferrxn performs a rap that seems to be hilarious, but I feel like I’ll only get it if I speak Spanish. The judges loved it anyway, and that’s more important. But I feel like performances like Satin Greco are better, because even if I didn’t understand a word, I could really feel the emotion.

Laca Udilla is up next and…well, I was more enthralled by the dancers? I’m not a singer either, but I thought she sounded good. However, that one shady queen edited in made it seem like she did not sing well. Alexandra del Ravel delivers a burlesque number, and even with my limited knowledge of Spanish I already know it’s a dirty song. Everyone seemed to like it!

The runway theme this episode is Two-Faced Realness, and Alexandra is up first. I thought it would be literal faces but just like her talent number, Alexandra leans towards the scatological. It’s Denébola who goes that route, and the masks she has with her are wonderfully painted.

From there, it’s a bunch of outfit reveals and…I dunno, maybe because I’ve been watching Drag Race Philippines: Slaysian Royale, but I kinda wanted it to be like the Happy Face-tival runway from episode 4. But of course, Satin Greco immediately proves me wrong because she literally gets naked on the runway, and they don’t pixelate it! We get the whole hog, so to speak. It’s hard for the other queens to top that, at least for this resident of the ~Global South~.

Alexandra, Denébola, Laca Udilla, Krystal Forever, Eva Harrington, and La Escándalo are safe. From the judges’ critiques, it looks like Margarita, Nori, and Nix are in the bottom. Satin, on the other hand, looks set to win this episode, and deservedly so. I also want to commend the judges for actually being constructive in their criticism, but that’s always been a feature of Drag Race España, in my opinion.

In the Werk Room, there’s conflict between Alexandra del Raval and Krystal Forever, so let’s wait and see if that’s going to be a season-long thing or just for this episode. When the queens got back to the runway, we find out that no one’s going home! It’s going to be a lip sync for the win between Satin Greco and Dafne Mugler.

The lip sync song is “Corazón Contento” by Mirasol, and just from the very first line, you already know that it’s a Satin Greco song. And you know what, the show proved me wrong because it’s Dafne who gets the win! She also gets €2,500 and a two-night stay at the Ritual Torreolino Hotel with access to the spa!