Ron Does Stuff

Finally gave this show a try last week, and just from that first episode, I can see why people went crazy over this. It’s over the top in a really entertaining way, so I’m expecting even more in the coming episodes.

When we last left Suo Wei, he was under the misunderstanding that Chi Cheng was his ex-girlfriend Yue Yue’s new boyfriend. Which is technically true! But what he doesn’t know is that Yue Yue is just Chi Cheng’s beard.

However, it’s not Chi Cheng or Suo Wei that the show is concerned with in this first episode, because who we see first is Xiao Shuai getting praised for his medical skills. Suo Wei then enters the scene to spoil the mood, all sulky and wanting to be left alone.

Before Xiao Shuai can even deal with that, in walks Cheng Yu, telling Xiao Shuai that he can contract whatever illness it is Xiao Shuai specializes in. That doesn’t work on Xiao Shuai, but Cheng Yu is persistent. Press you against the wall insistent.

Of course, it’s just so Cheng Yu can get the hospital’s banner. Sure. Cheng Yu then tries to get Xiao Shuai to give him a hand job — I mean, let’s call a hand job a hand job, that’s what was happening — but he gets a slap instead. A slap to the face, to be exact. Cheng Yu definitely hasn’t experienced that before, and while he doesn’t say it, I know he got even harder because of that slap.

Suo Wei sees all of this and the epiphany that he gets is that he can get Xiao Shuai to teach him how to masturbate bait men, specifically his ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend. Because of course.

Outside the clinic, my suspicions are proven true. That slap makes him want Xiao Shuai more, especially if it mean he gets him ahead of Chi Cheng. Somewhere in the wilds of AO3, there’s a fic of these four homosexuals having an orgy.

Inside, Suo Wei is telling his story to Xiao Shuai, and can I just say that it is still refreshing to watch a show where the gay characters are just…there? Suo Wei just mentions that he heard Chi Cheng used to date men before, and there’s no hemming and hawing and that’s just seen as a way to achieve his goal.

And Suo Wei isn’t planning to chase after Chi Cheng. He wants Chi Cheng to chase after him. Oh, if it were that easy to learn, I’d have taken classes too. Xiao Shuai finally agrees, and after collecting the necessary information, presents his masturbating baiting plan to Suo Wei. Or at least, starts to present it, because Xiao Shuai asks the ¥69 question: Seeing that Chi Cheng is “extremely strong” sexually, can Suo take that dick?

As it turns out, Suo Wei does not know the ins and outs of gay sex, and Xiao Shuai shares his porn collection to educate him. I MEAN THIS IS THE KIND OF SHOW IT ADVERTISED ITSELF IN THE FIRST EPISODE AND IT IS DELIVERING. I AM LAUGHING. Also, what I am getting from this scene is that Suo Wei and Xiao Shuai are both virgin bottoms. Oh, their bussies are going to get wrecked. Chi Cheng and Cheng Yu don’t look like gentle tops to me.

When the two of them set their masturbating baiting plan in motion, it really becomes clear that neither one of them has ever taken a dick before, because what the hell are you guys doing? The one thing that sorta works is challengin him Chi Cheng in a basketball game, with Suo Wei trying to get into Chi Cheng’s pocket? Did he put something in? Did he try to take something out?

Turns out that Suo Wei was putting stuff in Chi Cheng’s pockets. I think they’re candy? It’s meant to masturbate bait Chi Cheng and I guess it works because once Suo Wei returns after not appearing for three days at the court, he gets a butt slap. Chi Cheng’s even trying to get a lollipop that’s already been in Suo Wei’s mouth.

Suo Wei even goes the extra mile fo undergoing snake training, which impresses Chi Cheng even more when Suo Wei doesn’t recoil from his cock snake and even feeds it a rat. There’s even some coy gift-giving that gets Chi Chen to pull Suo Wei close to him and say “I want it.” Suo Wei is confident that Chi Cheng will visit Xiao Shuai’s clinic in the next three days.

However, it’s Cheng Yu who pays a visit. Unfortunately for Cheng Yu, Xiao Shuai doesn’t give a fuck. But Cheng Yu does see how caring Xiao Shuai is to the community he serves, and now Cheng Yu doesn’t just want to bend him over, now he wants to wife him.

As for Chi Cheng, his cock snake now prefers Suo Wei. He ends up going to a club where Cheng Yu also hangs out, and it’s where we find out Cheng Yu wasn’t planning on wifing Xiao Shuai at all. He’s going to She’s All That him and then fob him over to Chi Cheng.

Anyways, Chi Cheng finally makes his appearance at Xiao Shuai’s clinic, just like Suo Wei said he would, and Suo Wei gets his ass grabbed again. Oh, Suo Wei, baby, I think Chi Cheng’s going to make that butt red once the two of you actually start doing it.

It looks like Chi Cheng has gotten used to the gifts, and now that Suo Wei isn’t doing it anymore, Chi Cheng wants it back. Chi Cheng also wants Suo Wei back at the basketball court, because apparently Suo Wei hasn’t been showing up. Suo Wei tries to be all nonchalant about it, but Xiao Shuai does that internet thing where he builds Suo Wei up in front of Chi Cheng to make him look impressive.

But the final weapon in Suo Wei’s arsenal are the snakes. I’m trying to understand the plan here. Suo Wei both these snakes despite knowing they’re defective, so Chi Cheng can go against the snake farm that sold them the eggs? Is he trying to damsel-in-distress himself?

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