Ron Does Stuff

In the previous episode, we saw Shane get his hole destroyed and then his and our hearts destroyed with “We didn’t even kiss.” What are we going to get in this episode?

At the start of this episode, we’re back to 2014 at the Sochi Olympics. We get to see the perspective of Scott and Vaughn as they approach Shane in that cafe in Russia back in episode one, and we find out that Scott was thinking of a lot more things when Vaughn brought up how brave it was for Shane’s buddy to compete in Sochi despite being openly gay.

We go back four months in the past, in New York City, where Scott Hunter is apparently in a slump, from a previous season where he scored 70 points to a now scoreless season. It’s stressing me out, but what’s stressing me out is his NIPPLES STRAINING THROUGH HIS SHIRT.

He walks into what I’m thinking is an ice cream shop, and the man at the counter is asleep. Scott very gently wakes him up, and I can’t blame the guy for eyeing Scott’s body because I had an encounter like that with a local celebrity and it was very distracting.

It’s very apparent early on that there’s some sparks there, or at least both of them are open for a little something something. And again, I really can’t blame Kip here because Scott? You stare. Both eyes on your face and chest stare. He leaves Kip with a big tip and the “Girl…” “Girl!” when Kip and his coworker find out Scott’s a hockey player? I feel seen.

AND LIKE ANY SANE PERSON WHO’S BEEN HIT ON BY A HOT ATHLETE, KIP AND HIS COWORKER MARIA START WATCHING SCOTT’S GAME. They do it while meeting up with the rest of their friends and I feel like the rest of the friends should be more supportive here. OKAY MAYBE I WAS WRONG THE FRIENDS ARE SUPER SUPPORTIVE “THEN MAKE HIM GAY” YES KIP THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX.

Scott’s back in the store the next day and GIRL. WHEN SOMETHING GOES RIGHT WITH MY GAME I KEEP DOING IT. DUDE. GIRL. This time around, Kip’s in their fave sports bar with another female friend, Elena and they watch the game again and WAS THAT SHANE HOLLANDER IN A COMMERCIAL. Elena helps Kip ~orchestrate~ his next meeting with Scott and really, Kip, you would be nothing without the women in your life.

As expected, Scott makes another appearance at the store and this time around, the smoothie is on the house since management’s now aware that Scott is a regular customer. And now, Scott’s drinking the smoothie inside the store, giving Kip an opportunity to talk to him. And just when he thinks he flubbed his chances, SCOTT GIVES HIM TICKETS TO HIS GAME. GIRL. GIRL!

I’m assuming he wins in that home game, because when he plays against Rosanov’s team in Boston he flops and of course Ilya’s a dick about it. AND THEN SHANE’S A DICK ABOUT SCOTT LOSING A DAY LATER IN MONTREAL AND THERE’S AN ALMOST FIGHT! SHANE LOOKS SO CUTE ANGRY. And Kip’s watching all of that on TV, transfixed.

Turns out Kip was so transfixed with the game that he ends up messing up his morning the next day, for a catering job that he’s taken to earn money for grad school. But what’s even worse is that he literally bumps into Scott at the catering job, where he kinda feels the economic gap between the two of them. But you know what, Scott is a good man and he doesn’t care about that shit. He even asks Kip out on a Mexican food date!

A DATE THAT HAPPENS INSIDE SCOTT’S HOME. AND THEY DON’T EVEN ORDER THE FOOD BECAUSE THEY’RE FILTHY HOMOSEXUALS WHO IMMEDIATELY ENGAGE IN MALICIOUS GAY FAGGOTRY.

AND THEN SCOTT ASKS KIP TO STAY? GIRL. GIRL! AND THEN THE DOMESTICITY THE NEXT DAY? GIRL. GIRL!

We then get a moment of seriousness from Scott, who lays it all out on the table for Kip. He’s honest about all the negatives about being in a relationship with him, but he’s also honest about how badly he wants to be with Kip. It’s a really good confession and I don’t blame Kip for saying yes because I would have said yes!

This montage of the happy domestic life? How it’s positively affecting Scott’s hockey? I LOVE IT. It looks like Kip is making being in the closet work, and if I’m getting railed like that by a man like that I would make it work too! But of course, people aren’t stupid. Those around him are seeing it, and then of course, there’s that disastrous day out looking at art. Painful. But to be fair to Scott, he really was trying his best. It’s just that there’s still a lot of things he needs to unpack first. And big props to Kip for understanding.

However, Elena isn’t having any of this shit, because she’s a good friend. Kip may not be seeing it right now — or he’s seeing it but he’s refusing to acknowledge it — but he’s really been holding himself back a lot for Scott. And since Elena’s a good friend, she’s the one who confronts Scott about it and honestly, we all need an Elena in our lives.

And then the break-up? Francois Arnaud’s face? Kip crying to his father? SCOTT STILL WEARING THE SOCKS? I’M A MESS.

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