Ron Does Stuff

We find out Suo Wei’s big plan at the end of the previous episode, but is it actually going to work out for him? Let’s find out!

Chi Cheng is apparently staying at the Astor Plaza, if the exterior shots are to be believed. Is this the Astor Plaza in Beijing? A quick Google search tells me that no, there is no Astor Plaza in Beijing, but there is one in Tianjin, and it looks exactly like the one we’re shown. Obviously, they didn’t film inside it, but if the character Chi Cheng was staying at the hotel’s most expensive suite, my admittedly weak Google-fu has found that it costs $290 per night or P17,130 per night based on current exchange rates.

ANYWAY, after that detour on my part, lets get back to Chi Cheng, who’s waiting for a message from Suo Wei and is playing around with the belt Suo Wei gave him as gift. He really is into that shit. He sends Suo Wei a voice message that he wants to kill him, and since Suo Wei is trying to con him, Suo Wei immediately panics and calls him.

Of course, Chi Cheng immediately responds…and I think he’s jacking off? The conversation is vague enough that Suo Wei thinks he’s being threatened because Chi Cheng found out about his plan, but I really think Chi Cheng is just jacking off to him. Suo Wei eventually figures it out and I just had to capture his face because it was adorable.

The next day, Yue Yue is maximizing that Chi Cheng money to get herself jewelry, not knowing that Chi Cheng was jacking off to her ex the night before. Outside, Chi Cheng is buying cheap toys that remind him of Suo Wei, so I think it’s fair to say that he might want Suo Wei for more than just his bootyhole now.

Suo Wei, on the other hand, is starting to lose it a little bit after six days of no contact from Chi Cheng. He’s lost it enough that he starts jacking off to thoughts of Chi Cheng. And who should walk in on him jacking off but Chi Cheng. Oh, this MALICIOUS GAY FAGGOTRY has got to stop.

Chi Cheng then puts his hands under the covers and grabs Suo Wei’s dick and tells him that HE decides who Suo Wei’s missing and this is toxic but also Chi Cheng can do that to me? Again, I am a broken person. Chi Cheng gets into bed with Suo Wei, but tells him that they’re just going to sleep.

The next day, Suo Wei tells Chi Cheng that he’s planning to start an art installation company, and I’m all What the fuck? Given his track record of failed attempts at making money, I wouldn’t invest. Chi Cheng, however, is a different matter, since he’s already halfway in love with him and doesn’t even hear what Suo Wei is saying. He then hands Suo Wei his card and being the poverty-afflicted person that I am I would have gladly taken that card and offered up my bootyhole, but Suo Wei still has pride and dignity left.

We then see Suo Wei at the pet store from the previous episode and I think that whole art installation company thing was just a ruse? Is he using Chi Cheng’s money to get back Chi Cheng’s snake? I will be honest and admit that this snake plot is really confusing me because I don’t know the ins and out of snake trading in China.

Over at the Chi Cheng household, his mother is still getting threatening messages, but are they still from Suo Wei? These ones are telling her that Chi Cheng is getting married to whoever is sending the messages, which is different from Suo Wei’s initial message telling Chi Cheng’s mother that Chi Cheng is gay. Either way, it produces the same effect, with Chi Cheng’s mother urging Yue Yue to move her ass and get married to Chi Cheng.

Chi Cheng, on the other hand, is introducing Suo Wei to people that can help him out with his art installation business. Suo Wei, baby, he’s doing all this without having explored your

Imagine what can happen if you let him do that.

After that business meeting/drinking session, Suo Wei is drunk. Drunk enough to lean into Chi Cheng for a kiss, but is cockblocked by a call from Yue Yue. I mean, this show has 20+ episodes, so they really gotta stretch things out. HOWEVER, Suo Wei may not be as drunk as I thought he was, because he makes his way to Chi Cheng’s snake room and places something there. Interesting. Chi Cheng tells him that Yue Yue is on her way, and as Suo Wei starts to leave Chi Cheng pulls him into a hug and tells him he’ll pay him what he owes. Interesting.

Yue Yue arrives and tries to kill Chi Cheng’s snake with poison, and while she doesn’t succeed, Chi Cheng’s minion finds the packet Suo Wei left behind, which is apparently rat poison that can also kill snakes. Suo Wei was trying to frame Yue Yue, but was it really needed considering she was already planning on doing it anyway? We also find out that Chi Cheng was already working to get back his snakes, but it turns out that his plan is the same as Suo Wei’s, so…they’re replacing the snakes and then putting them back in again? I’m sorry I’m so dumb!

Elsewhere in Tianjin, which is now where I am assuming this is set because of the exterior shot at the beginning of the episode, Cheng Yu is showing Xiao Shuai his snakes, and through a series of fortunate events, Xiao Shuai ends up revealing to Cheng Yu that he saved that shirtless picture Cheng Yu sent. Oh, prepare your bootyhole, Xiao Shuai, Cheng Yu’s just gotten more incentive to go after it.

When Xiao Shuai comes back with the snake he asked for from Cheng Yu, Suo Wei is amazed and then these two bottoms start comparing their tops and which one of them gets better treatment. Whether he wants to admit it or not, it’s quite clear that Suo Wei is jealous not of Yue Yue, but of Wang Shuo, that mysterious ex-boyfriend that he thinks is what Chi Cheng’s snakes symbolize.

Suo Wei and Xiao Shuai move to the rooftop and start talking about their snake plan, which I honestly still don’t get, but Xiao Shuai says it’s going well so I’ll just trust him. Despite the plan going well, Suo Wei is still frustrated, and Xiao Shuia clock Suo Wei and tells Suo Wei that the only reason he’s frustrated is because he thinks Chi Cheng is staying with Yue Yue for the sake of the snakes, and that the only reason he’s helping save Chi Cheng’s snakes is so that Chi Cheng can dump Yue Yue already and be with him.

Meanwhile, Yue Yue plans to kill Chi Cheng’s snakes anyway, hiring two dudes that honestly don’t look smart enough to do it. Unbeknownst to both Yue Yue and Suo Wei, Chi Cheng doesn’t really care about the snakes anymore. What he wants now is Suo Wei. And where is Suo Wei? At Chi Cheng’s home, trying to prevent the murder of one of his snakes.

Suo Wei’s snake rescue mission goes awry and he almost gets stabbed, but of course, Chi Cheng steps in like a superhero and saves Suo Wei’s life. Suo Wei, couldn’t you at least give him a handie as thanks? Anyways, snake killing aborted, would-be snake assassins accosted, and Yue Yue as mastermind revealed. All in the space of an afternoon!

As Chi Cheng tends Suo Wei’s frankly not even serious wound? bruise?, Chi Cheng also confronts him about the rat poison he left behind. I was already thinking that Chi Cheng is too smart for Suo Wei and Yue Yue to outmaneuver him, but then Chi Cheng embarrassed me and my page by telling Suo Wei that he knew Suo Wei did it to remind him to protect his snake. Maybe you don’t deserve to explore Suo Wei’s

Chi Cheng then scolds Suo Wei for being reckless and almost getting himself hurt, and I know it’s against the rules of feminism and shit but I would be wet if a hot, rich man wanted to protect me. I’m poor and I’m tired, okay? I just want to be taken care of! And then Chi Cheng tells him that he’s never wanted to sleep with anyone so much? A hot, rich man, horny for me? Suo Wei, you are stronger than me because I would have folded like Shane Hollander when Ilya Rozanov was rimming him.

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