Ron Does Stuff

One thing I learned from spending multiple months just watching the different Drag Race iterations last year was that as much as I loved the shows, it does burn you out a bit watching one after the other. Which is why I’ve been trying to diversify by taking on other shows, like this one!

The show really just plops us right into Jimin’s house after a short title sequence. I think this is the most we’ve seen of his home? I may be wrong because I honestly have been a little overwhelmed by the amount of content BTS has put out ever since their “hiatus”. The hiatus is not hiatusing!

As it turns out, it’s not his home but a hotel room in New York, since he was there to watch Jungkook perform on Good Morning America. This was the one that was rained on!

Also we find out that apparently Jungkook’s throat was hurting before the show? Honestly my mind is full of holes and I don’t remember if he ever talked about this before. But anyways, it looks like they agreed to do this pre-enlistment trip even before the GMA performance and Jungkook is saying that he’s never traveled like this before.

The two of them are going to be driving to their destination and it’s so adorable how Jungkook is all “Look I’m driving abroad!” It’s just a reminder that he’s the maknae and probably will always be the maknae. Jimin’s even volunteering to spoon him at night to keep him warm!

It’s also at this point that I need to dissect my feelings, because Jimin talks about how he and Taehyung still talk often but don’t meet up as much. I really shouldn’t be sad about it because they still talk! And some of the friends I consider close to me, I haven’t met for years either! But they’re the ones I tell my innermost thoughts to. It’s an image of the guys (BTS) that I need to shake because as much as they love their fans, I don’t think they want them dictating their personal lives.

As they’re driving they’re also trying to come up with a name for their show, which at this point still hasn’t been decided yet. They talk about Crayon Shin Chan and I wonder about the Western ARMY watching this and whether they know that reference.

They arrive at the restaurant and for sure some enterprising ARMY is going to find out where that is exactly. And as someone who’s been stanning them for several years now can I just say that I felt a little thrill hearing them speak English? I still remember when they all would hide behind Namjoon’s back like little kids.

See, I’m not a burger or sandwich guy. I’ll eat them if there’s nothing else to eat, but they certainly wouldn’t be my first choice. But as is always the case with these guys, they always eat so enthusiastically that I kinda wanna try out these burgers? Even if the color of the bread puts me off.

They’re back on the road after their meal and as they drive Jimin tries to practice his English by reading all of the signs on the road and the vehicles and the gigil I feel? I want to squeeze him and squish him and put him in my pocket.

AND THEN THE BICKERING OVER JUNGKOOK’S PARKING SKILLS? I MISS THEM SO MUCH?!? It’s like the best parts of Bon Voyage and Run BTS squished together.

AND THEN AN ARMY RECOGNIZES THEM? Can I just say I’m so proud that she didn’t make them uncomfortable or anything? She was so nice and unobtrusive! I don’t know how present the bodyguards where during this whole trip but from that one ARMY’s account on Twitter it seems like there wasn’t any so this ARMY was just giving them a wide enough space to be comfortable.

They arrive at the unnamed brewery — these establishments really are missing out on the free publicity — and to see Jungkook being confident about speaking in English? I feel like a proud mom! You used to run away from speeches! In Korean!

After the time at the brewery, they finally get to the kayak place and I don’t know about that water to be honest. Or maybe I’m just hung up on that whole Seine debacle during the Paris Olympics. An athlete got sick with E.coli!

I can’t figure out how Jungkook’s kayak ended up tilting into the water? I mean I guess it was already a little tilted once he got in but you’ve barely left the dock how can you fall over JK? Anyways, he falls over, Jimin is like a bajillion miles away and Jungkook wishes he’d flip over as well and then THE FUCKING SHADE RATTLE FROM DRAG RACE PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND. TWENTY-NINE MINUTES IN.

Anyways, they finally get to kayaking and I gotta say, this place that’s two hours away from Manhattan looks great. It reminds me a lot of the rural areas here that are in that sweet spot between development and what they looked liked without any of the modern accoutrements. I feel like I should describe it better but it’s all that’s coming right now.

It’s another activity down and know they set up camp for the night. Like literal camp, they’re in a dark wooded area and everything. I don’t know why camping is all the rage in Korea but I prefer my modern amenities thank you very much.

And it looks like I’m wrong about it being a literal camp because they’ve got a nice little cabin going! They’re going to grill some meat for their dinner and I pity whatever place the staff bought the meat from because Jungkook looked at it and deemed it insufficient. Had to make a whole barbecue sauce and everything just to make sure it was up to snuff. If he’s not getting the wrinkled forehead of truth the food is probably no good.

Now to feed the delulu…Jungkook is just looking like your college boyfriend as he’s grilling these pork slices. Your college boyfriend whose an expert at straddling different social cliques and is liked by everyone and you just feel all soft as you watch him grill.

Dinner is finally served and Jimin’s really bringing the klutz tonight as he repeatedly drops Jungkook’s marinated pork.It was hilarious but the pork! It looked delicious too!

As they’re eating they decide to call Taehyung who’s at a photoshoot and then JUNGKOOK CONFIRMS THAT HE REALLY DOES HAVE A MOTORBIKE. ARMYS always suspected but here it is right from his own mouth! The fanfic writers have to get on this, stat!

They also call Yoongi and he’s really like their grandfather because he knows their schedule and was even monitoring Jungkook’s performance on GMA oh my goodness I miss them all together?

After the call with Yoongi we get a revelation: Jimin’s been pooping all throughout the trip. Like seriously. I am so freaking endeared that they okayed this going out into the world. And then to have that freaking “Come here Jungkook” as they go to sleep? And then Jimin getting elbowed in the face? My god.

Jimin is bedridden for most of the morning and can’t even drink the PeptoBismol or something that the crew got for him. And can I just say that even with whatever bug he’s caught he’s looking like a dream in bed? Life’s so not fair.

While Jimin is inside the cabin Jungkook is being Jungkook and builds a freaking rock tower that’s all the way up to his shoulders? That’s literally up to my height or something. He build a rock tower as tall as me. Jesus Christ.

Finally, Jimin is out of bed and makes a wish to the stone tower that toxins leave his body. They’re done with the campsite and off to their next adventure!