Ron Does Stuff

It’s literally been more than a month since I watched an episode but now I’m back on this Swedish show!

The end of the previous episode was all about the mobile phones: Wilhelm snooping and seeing Marcus’ messages to Simon and August receiving a call from the royal court telling him that the queen wants to talk to him. Will we find out what the queen wants him to do this episode? Probably!

What this episode opens with, however, is one of those therapy tapes that tell you how to breathe and calm you down or something. I am guessing Wilhelm is trying to get his anger under control. It looked like Wilhelm, at least.

I say that because the next scene is August talking to his stepdad, who tells him that spreading the video of Wilhelm having sex with Simon is distribution of child sexual abuse material, since the two were minors when he filmed and distributed it. And no one wants that on their high school record.

Meanwhile, new rowing team captain Vincent is running the team into the ground and August not attending practice isn’t calming him down at all. Unfortunately, it’s Simon who gets the brunt of his anger because he’s the ~commoner~ who always has to prove himself. Maybe Wilhelm didn’t quite think his coup through.

Of course, what’s a gay boy who’s rethinking his plan to do? Contact the girl BFF of course. They’re not exactly talking though but just asking the royal court to send them poké bowls instead, while Simon is training with Rosh. Acting like a spoiled brat isn’t going to make you feel any closer to Simon, Wilhelm!

But maybe Simon will fall for whatever it is that Wilhelm does because he’s beeng ignoring texts from Marcus, he with the huge remote control.

Simon says he doesn’t get why he can’t just fall in love with Marcus and baby it’s because you got a taste of that royal dick. Once you’ve tasted royal you’ll always wanna give oral, I guess? I am trying my best here!

Meanwhile, Wilhelm is stewing about the message from Marcus that he saw on Simon’s phone. He thinks that the Marcus and Simon are actually an item and it’s kinda cute how he’s so jealous. Once you’ve done common, you’ll always wanna get it on, I guess? I’m here all week!

Even Felice is tired of Wilhelm’s homosexual pining and tells him to just ask Simon what the deal is and maybe he’ll do it later but for now he’s with the school therapist. Because, and I say this without any snark or whatever, poor boy definitely needs it.

The therapy session makes him late for his next class, so he ends up being assigned to a group with Simon to make a report about Crisis by Karin Boye. The female main character in the novel falls in love with another woman and my interest was immediately piqued by possible lesbianism. Wilhelm picks this as the moment to confront Simon about Marcus and wouldn’t you know it Simon can’t help but say that he and Marcus hand out but they aren’t together. Wilhelm almost smiles but he’s definitely getting a chub under the table.

Meanwhile, Sara is not taking the impending sale of Felice’s horse well and I have complicated feelings about her as a character. On the one hand, it’s great to see a more nuanced and layered portrayal of people with Asperger’s syndrome, but at the same time I just want her to just have a fun life? Which just flattens her and makes her one-dimensional as a character but I didn’t say my feelings made any sense, okay?

I totally forgot that Simon was going to sing at the school jubilee and all this time I thought the song was just him pining for Wilhelm. Which is half true, I guess? The teacher likes it and says it’s an amazing arrangement and that Simon has talent and we’re halfway through the season so I feel like something horrible is going to happen so we get a nice juicy dramatic cliffhanger leading into the third and final season?

Where things aren’t getting any better is with August, who continues to chafe under Vincent’s leadership. Prefectship? And also the face that he distribute child sexual abuse material. He is determined not to bend the knee to Vincent, so to speak, because he’s already done enough of that with Wilhelm. What he hasn’t had enough of is Sara but while he tries to arrange a sex session with her his plans get thwarted by Simon, who walks in on them in the stables. Sara expertly deflects Simon’s questions and tries to question him instead about Marcus but at least Simon comes clean about that.

Simon is also honest with Marcus, telling him that he doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready for anything serious with him and to Marcus’ eternal credit, he even reassures Simon that he’s not like his dad when it comes to relationships. If you don’t want his huge remote, Simon, hand it over to me!

Sara goes to August’s room, thinking she’s going to get her back blown out, but it turns out that August wasn’t arranging a sex session are really just wanted to talk, because he’s set to meet the queen tomorrow and he thinks it’s because of the tape he distributed. Sara comforts him but girl is on a mission and initiates sex. She knows what she wants!

The indoor rowing competition starts the next day and I know that this is a school for rich people who will of course play rich people sports but this is just the peak of rich people sporting to me. You’re competing on who’s better at using gym equipment! Somebody bring out the guillotine!

Vincent’s team loses and I just can’t take his anger over it seriously. BRING. OUT. THE. GUILLOTINE. Simon quits and I totally understand you. Even August is saying it doesn’t matter in the long run. YOU’RE RACING ON GYM EQUIPMENT.

Wilhelm isn’t even bothered about the loss because Marcus watched the competition and gave Simon a little consoling kiss after it. Now that is a bigger problem for him compared to that indoor rowing competition.

August is also much more worried about his audience with the queen. But I guess he shouldn’t have been because the royal court has picked him as a possible successor to the throne in case Wilhelm refuses to do his duty. To be fair, the fact that the queen is mad at August does redeem her in my eyes a minuscule bit. Maybe she does love Wilhelm. Or maybe she’s just pissed that she’s lost the throne.

Wilhelm, on the other hand, has lost his mind because WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH FELICE?