Ron Does Stuff

I’m back with the third and final episode of this audio erotica! So far, The Trials have been delivering when it comes to the erotica, which is what you’re paying for after all. I did have some gripes about the fantasy elements in my previous post about The Trials, but that’s more of a me problem than the product not delivering what is says on the tin. Let’s dive into this final episode and see if it ends with a…bang.

So where were we at the end of the second trial? Theo and Jane spend a night in a single sleeping bag and leggings are torn and Jamie Campbell Bower tells you in your earhole that you’re ready for him. So, yeah.

In this third and final episode, Theo is starting to get some doubts about becoming a part of the Black Ravens, as well as the fact that he will have to betray Jane now that the third trial is starting. He’s showing some trepidation about betraying Jane, but ultimately decides that Jane can get over it.

Of course, we as the audience get to hear that Theo may not be as blasé about betraying Jane because he finds out that Gregory has physically harmed her and I don’t know, maybe this should have been written in second person or something because I kinda wanna hear Jamie Campbell Bower threaten someone for me.

When they finally get into doing the tasks, I want to commend the production once again because the sound effect they do for teleporting? Spectacular. Like I could feel it traveling through my head. And yes, I know, this might be routine for audiobooks, but I haven’t listened to a lot of them, okay? Also, Jamie Campbell Bower growling in my ear? I know he’s threatening Gregory but still! That growl really burrows into your earhole and into your brain and I am unwell, I think.

As they progress with the task, Theo gets surprised again when it turns out that Jane knew all along that Theo was going to betray her in the end. Not only that, she didn’t say anything because she wanted Theo to figure out what he wanted to do for himself, for once. When he asks why she would do that for him I out loud said “SHE WANTS THE DICK” and it’s a good thing I’m listening at home, alone.

However, Gregory drops in on this whole heart-to-heart and it’s kinda anticlimactic? From the threats you’d think the battle would be more but it’s very less. It does spur Theo to agree with Jane and destroy the obsidian blade at the heart of the task and they head home. But what does that mean for the trials to be a member of the Black Ravens?

We don’t immediately know what happens because when Theo visits Jane’s home, he tries to subtly hint that he could stay there with her forever. But we do get to that, and we find out that Theo has to start over and has not been admitted to the Black Ravens, and he finally admits to Jane that he’s into her. AND he acknowledges all her positives and recognizes that she doesn’t need him, AND he’s willing to start over for her. It’s a good grovel for a betrayal that he doesn’t even go through with!

AND THE FACT THAT THE GROVEL LEADS TO THE SEX? I MEAN. HE TELLS YOU YOUR BED PERFECT FOR WHAT HE’S GOING TO DO TO YOU? THE FILTH. THEN HE TELLS YOU HE’S GOING TO SPREAD YOU OPEN AND GO DOWN ON YOU UNTIL YOU ASK HIM TO STOP? AND HE CALLS YOU HIS GOOD GIRL? AND ALL THE WHILE ASKING FOR YOUR CONSENT HOTLY?

There’s so many other things he says that I could write down but then where would be the fun in that for those who haven’t listened to it yet? Let’s just say my mouth? Agape. Like my only complain is that it was kinda short? Like pay him the money to do this longer seriously.

Having said that, it did feel a little short. And Jamie, I’m sure it’s not ~short~. But I do get that there are compromises that have to be made and this is already a 45-minute recording. They’ve had to balance the story with the erotica and to be quite honest they may not have been as successful as they would have wanted? It’s not bad at all, and it might boil down to just a personal preference on my part, but it could have all been a little longer. Which I think can be viewed as a compliment because I definitely want more of this. And Jamie’s voiced interest as well! I just can’t find the tweet right now but he did!