Ron Does Stuff

If you were even connected peripherally to the BL sphere back in June, it would have been impossible for you to not hear about this show. If I’m understanding it correctly, the show got to big that one of the actors gets mobbed in public? ANYWAYS, it’s about time I got to see what the fuss is all about, especially now that all episodes are out. Let’s go!

We open the show with multiple snakes, because there’s nothing like multiple phallic symbols to make it clear that this is going to be about homosexuals doing homosexual things. Or bisexuals doing bisexual things, since I think both the lead characters are with women at first? The character, Chi Cheng, not only has multiple snakes, but is also smoking when we finally get to see his face. Let’s get all those delicious bad boy tropes in! And I do not mean this as a complaint, let the show go as big as it wants to!

We then get to see the other male lead — they don’t immediately say his name — and he’s bringing his girlfriend Yue Yue to meet his mother. He’s poor and scruffy and Yue Yue is classist and judgmental, and I mean this in the most positive way, but this is all starting to look like those vertical dramas that you get as ads on Instagram and TikTok. Or maybe it’s just the way Chinese productions write their scripts? Or rather, how it’s translated in the subtitles.

However, Wu Qi Qiong — someone finally says his name! — gets a nasty surprise when he finally picks up his girlfriend. She isn’t here to meet his mother; she’s here to break up. He even gets knocked out by Wang Zheng Long, who I am assuming is Yue Yue’s new boyfriend. But I thought the ex was going to be with Chi Cheng? Anyways, again, this feels like those vertical dramas in the most positive way.

While that’s happening to Qi Qiong, Chi Cheng is participating in a snake fight. Yes, two phallic symbols fighting. They want you to know that this show is about two fat cocks slapping hands. Chi Cheng’s snake is battling Guo Cheng Yu’s snake, and the crowd helpfully tells us that Chi Cheng and Cheng Yu have this whole best frenemy thing going. Chi Cheng’s snake emerges victorious, and the prize is…a guy? Cheng Yu leaves Xiao Long Bao with Chi Cheng and tells him to “keep him company”. Is this legal??? Isn’t this human trafficiking??? Also, does Xiao Long Bao squirt hot liquid when you bite him?

Qi Qiong, on the other hand, won’t be squirting anytime soon as he’s recuperating in a hospital ran by a doctor who just screams good boy about to be defiled by a bad boy. I am guessing he’s part of the secondary couple? He’s definitely going to be ~defiled~ by Cheng Yu, because Qi Qiong is Chi Cheng’s. I like it when everything lines up!

Qi Qiong comes clean to the still unnamed doctor, telling him that he got dumped because he got “ugly, tacky, and fat”, and the doctor tells him that he’s got a good foundation and he can turn things around. Makeover montage! Qi Qiong is now hotter, although to be honest he didn’t look ugly to begin with? Like that was a stretch.

If Qi Qiong is having a good day, Chi Cheng is having the opposite experience. He gets called away from home because his dad is sick, and then he’s woken up the next day because it appears that Xiao Long Bao has stolen all of Chi Cheng’s snakes. And he can’t even personally chase after him because it turns out his father wasn’t really sick and this was all a ploy by his parents to get him to work for the family business, since he’s a 28-year-old bum apparently. And it turns out that it was actually his dad who took the snakes! Maybe with the help of Xiao Long Bao? The snakes are going to be held hostage until Chi Cheng gets a job. Don’t separate a man from his snakes!

Qi Qiong’s life is taking a turn as well, because what was supposed to be a lunch to get back with Yue Yue ends with him getting knocked out by Wang Zheng Long again, and not one bystander doing anything to help him. He also quits his job because his boss is quite frankly being an asshole. So now he’s bleeding and unemployed. At least he’s got one thing similar with Chi Cheng! Shared characteristics are always a good foundation for a relationship!

Qi Qiong goes back to the doctor’s place — I don’t think he’s been named yet? — and tells him that he’s Suo Wei now, which I would probably appreciate more if I knew what the name meant. Suo Wei swears he’ll ~counterattack~, and he starts by working for the doctor, who we find out is named Xiao Shuai.

Okay, so Suo Wei’s not working for the doctor, but he’s staying at the doctor’s clinic. What he does for employment is sell sugar figures(?) on a street owned(?) by the Yuandan Group, which is the company of Chi Cheng’s family. Suo Wei’s basically an illegal sidewalk vendor, and it’s on this street that Chi Cheng and Suo Wei have their meet-cute. And it is cute! Suo Wei looking like a Submissive Bottom, Chi Ching looking like your Corporate Dom Top, Suo Wei throwing sugar figures(?) at Chi Cheng to escape. Cute!

Suo Wei runs to Xiao Shuai’s clinic to hide, thinking that he’s being followed by Chi Cheng, but it’s actually Cheng Yu who’s been following him, because he thought it was funny how Suo Wei just ruined Chi Cheng’s day. Now it’s time for Xiao Shuai and Cheng Yu’s meet-cute! And it is also cute! It looks like Xiao Shuai still hasn’t come to terms with liking guys, and Cheng Yu looks like he’s going to enjoy showing Xiao Shuai just how fun it could be if he just loosened up and let Cheng Yu in. If you know what I mean.

Or maybe not! The next day, Xiao Shuai rejects a female admirer by flat out saying he likes men, something that Suo Wei witnesses. I thought Xiao Shuai would say it was just something he says to ward off admirers, but he admits to it! Wonder what Cheng Yu’s going to do now? Anyways, during that talk with Suo Wei, Suo Wei manages to snatch Xiao Shuai’s pen without Xiao Shuai noticing, and then tells him that this is going to be his new career. Is he going to be a pickpocket now?

Over at…wherever Chi Cheng is, he gets a call from who I guess is a former schoolmate, since the person asks why he wasn’t at the reunion. Then we learn about Wang Shuo, another snake lover who Chi Cheng used to be close to before. I am guessing their snakes were slapping against each other as well, right? While Chi Cheng is being dramatic about that past relationship, who would turn up but Suo Wei, whose new career seems to be whatever the Chinese equivalent is to a Kick streamer. Unfortunately, Chi Cheng is not the one to mess with, and he confiscates Suo Wei’s equipment, which apparently Suo Wei paid a lot of money for!

Did Chi Cheng give back the equipment to Suo Wei? I’m not really sure, because in the next scene it’s Chi Cheng confronting Xiao Long Bao. And he has him gang-raped? Am I understanding this correctly? They’re really taking go big or go home to heart!

DID SOMEBODY SAY GO BIG OR GO HOME?

Stream it on Spotify too!

After giving away Xiao Long Bao to the wolves, it’s Yue Yue and Wang Zhen Long that Chi Cheng encounters next. Acting just like the female villains in those vertical dramas, Yue Yue sets her sights on Chi Cheng as her next target, because a social climber has got to social climb. Lucky for her, Wang Zhen Long pissed off Chi Cheng enough for Chi Cheng to cause Wang Zhen Long’s car to crash. The ladder is right there for you to climb, Yue Yue!

Again, lucky for Yue Yue, Chi Cheng’s parents are now demanding that he find a girlfriend within the year, because of course. I guess they don’t know their son doesn’t just like snakes, but trouser snakes as well! It also looks like Wang Zhen Long is paralyzed from the waist down? And Chi Cheng’s family knows his family?

Over at Xiao Shuai’s clinic, Suo Wei is trying to think of what to do next to earn a living, and Xiao Shuai refers him to a relative who can employ him as a delivery driver that can work flexitime. Yue Yue is also thinking about how she’s going to earn a living as she waits for Chi Chen outside an…establishment? I don’t know what the place is! Boy does she work hard for her money, and while Chi Cheng prefers snakes, Yue Yue is a convenient beard.

Suo Wei starts his new job as a delivery driver, which I thought was going to be deliveries on a motorcycle for some reason, but the job is being a delivery truck driver. And his first job is delivering the snakes that Chi Cheng’s dad took from him, which of course results in this interaction.

Turns out Suo Wei wasn’t delivering Chi Cheng’s snakes at all, but just a bunch of spare parts, and to Chi Cheng’s credit, he pays ¥5,000 when all Suo Wei asked for was ¥500. Unfortunately, this interaction also ends up with Suo Wei seeing Chi Cheng with Yue Yue, and he thinks that all his interactions with Chi Cheng so far have been because of Yue Yue wanting to humiliate him. And now Suo Wei wants revenge!

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