Ron Does Stuff

So, I watched the first episode yesterday and you know what? You know what? This show really delivered! Let’s get right into the second episode!

Shane and Ilya separated in what I’d consider uncertain terms at the end of the last episode, after Shane won Rookie of the Year and Ilya was staring down at the prospect of going home to his less than ideal family.

At the start of this episode, it’s 2011 and it’s been three years since Shane and Ilya first met. They’re both jogging in their respective hometowns of Montreal and Moscow, and wouldn’t you know it, that little tiff in Vegas really wasn’t that serious after all, as the two of them have been texting each other anyway. By the time they’re playing against each other again, ILYA IS LITERALLY FOLLOWING SHANE AROUND THE ICE LOOKING ALL BESOTTED NO ONE IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

And then they continue texting each other! Ilya, specifically, is being particularly forward, asking Shane if he wants to come while he’s in Boston. TELLING SHANE HE STILL WANTS THAT ASSHOLE. BABY. AND ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING FROM 2011 TO 2012.

ALSO THE DICK PIC? LIKE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I WAS STILL CAUGHT OFF GUARD? Also, “I knew it was coming” ehehehe.

It’s 2013 by the time Ilya proposes that he gets to anally devirginize Shane if Boston wins the next round it’s playing. He also proposes that if Montreal wins, he still gets to anally devirginize Shane. Win-win!

ALSO THE HILARITY OF HIS I THINK FRENCH? TEAMMATE SAYING HE’S GOING TO FUCK ROZANOV BACK IF ROZANOV FUCKS WITH SHANE DURING THE NIGHT OF THE GAME?

ANYWAYS, they keep on sexting right to the very last minute of the game, and part of me was thinking that it was as much mind games on Ilya’s part as much as it was genuine sexting. But maybe it wasn’t, because Boston ends up losing to Montreal, so now Shane has to give up his hole to Ilya. Terms of the agreement, after all!

Ilya finally goes to Shane’s Montreal home, and the banter? The smile on Shane’s face as they approach each other before they kiss? AND THEN THE RIMMING?

AND THEN THE HOTNESS OF ILYA ASKING MULTIPLE TIMES IF WHAT HE’S DOING IS OKAY? CONSENT IS SEXY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. ALSO THE PUMPING IS SO VIGOROUS MY GOODNESS. But who am I to hold Shane back from his full potential because he looks like he can absolutely take it and that satisfied smile after? I mean, salute to you, Hollander!

While Shane’s just had the time of his life, the Sochi Olympics puts a damper on Ilya, as the Russian team has crashed and burned under his leadership and we know from the previous episode that his dad isn’t going to be happy about this. Shane also begins to realize the environment that Ilya’s grown up in when Vaughn(?) from Team USA points out Russia’s anti-LGBTQIA+ policies. But when Shane tries to empathize with Ilya, he gets pushed away and while I can’t blame Ilya, Ilya definitely can’t blame Shane when he distances himself from him because I’d have done the same as Shane!

But I feel like Shane’d understand if he saw just how much Ilya’s father puts pressure on him. Also, what’s with the military uniform? That’s probably explained in the book. AND THEN WE SEE THAT MAYBE ILYA’S FATHER IS SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA. OH NO. That said, it still hurts when he continues blaming just Ilya for the loss of the Russian team, when even the minister is trying to spread out the blame.

Svetlana swoops in to save him from this conversation, but is it really saving him when she takes him to Sasha, the guy he ~played around with~ back when they were kids? Svetlana does do a good job of laying out Ilya’s Cup prospects this year, complete with a path to it and everything, so I wonder what’s going to happen when Ilya eventually chooses Shane? We do now that Sasha isn’t going to be an issue, because Ilya rejects him even after Sasha practically offers himself up to him. BUT YOU GOTTA RESPOND TO SHANE’S TEXT TOO, ILYA!

Back in North America, Svetlana’s words turn out prophetic and the look on Shane’s face when Ilya wins the cup? My goodness. I love restrained performances like this. Brava, Hudson Williams.

AND THEN WHEN THE TWO OF THEM MEET AGAIN AFTER I GUESS SIX MONTHS OF NO CONTACT? ILYA THINKING HE CAN JUST START THIS BACK UP AGAIN? Also thank you Shane for confirming it’s been six months when Ilya follows you to the bathroom. THAT SAID SHANE HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT WHY DO YOU IMMEDIATELY FOLD ONCE ILYA HAS HIS HAND ON YOUR CHIN.

The awards night ends, and Shane is back to going to Ilya’s room, which this time around is now a penthouse. Ilya has him take off his clothes all dom-like and my goodness? When he asks Shane to touch himself? Ilya’s “Fuck” when Shane does as he’s told? SHANE TELLING ILYA HE NEEDS HIM? THE FUCKING CROTCH NUZZLING?

Then you contrast that with the awkwardness of Shane trying to establish an emotional connection with Ilya, trying to see if maybe Ilya can stay in North America for the summer. AND THEN WE GET “WE DIDN’T EVEN KISS” SHANE’S RIGHT. FUCK.

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