Ron Does Stuff

I know I didn’t finish the last season of RuPaul’s Drag Race because work got to be too much, and by the time I had enough time, everybody else had already watched the episodes, so what’s the point? But I’m going to try to be on time for this one!

It’s an all-new season of All Stars, and a whole new set of queens to compete in the Tournament of All-Stars. The first bracket up is the orange bracket, with Morphine Love Dion being the first queen to walk the Main Stage. She’s really leaning into that ladybug brand! Also, is it indelicate to ask if this is before or after her car accident?

Next up is Lucky Starzzz, who is as visually striking as ever. I really wanted her to go further than she did during her season, and I really hope she gets to showcase her stuff here in All Stars. It is nice to hear that she still got to travel after her season!

Then we Mystique Summers! An OG queen from the Logo days of Drag Race! She has definitely slimmed down since her season, but I am guessing she can still whoop some fucking ass!

And who should walk in right after her but Morgan McMichaels herself. One of my favorite queens from the earlier seasons, even if she did not really live up to her reputation back in All Stars 3. She’s definitely better than that! Will she be fighting with Mystique again this season?

Up next is Dawn! I know there’s no one going home this season, but I do want to see her go up against Morphine again. Just for shits and giggles! She’s followed by Akeria C. Davenport, whom I obviously immediately associate with “Where is the body?” I also thought she got a raw deal in All Stars 6, and I hope she gets to showcase herself more in this season. Akeria is the last queen for this bracket, and now that they’re all on the Main Stage, Ru tells them that only the top two queens from each bracket will be moving forward in the competition. Ru also tells them that the first challenge is going to be a performance challenge.

Once they’re in the Werk Room, Morgan and Mystique finally face each other once more, and they really haven’t seen each other since the Untucked fight! They’ve been chatting, according to Morgan, but this is the first time they’re together since that famous Untucked fight. Morgan does admit to being a little on edge, which does not bode well for her time on the show.

Elsewhere in the Werk Room, there is a brewing Miami alliance between Morphine and Lucky Starzzz, while tension is already brewing between Dawn and Mystique. And honestly, now that I’m looking at it, it shouldn’t have been surprising, since both of them just say what’s on their mind. Another alliance is also brewing between Morgan and Akeria, so it’ll be interesting to see where all these interactions are going to lead further down the season.

Ru enters the Werk Room for the walkthroughs, and she points out that Morgan is great in the clubs, but it doesn’t translate to Drag Race. Morgan’s hoping to change that this time around, but I do not have high hopes for that. We also find out that this was filmed after Morphine’s accident, and hearing her talk about? It sounds even more horrible than what I read online.

We also find out why Akeria did not participate in the Game Within a Game during her All Stars season, which I honestly had forgotten about. Lucky Starzzz gets to talk about her inner saboteur, while Mystique continues to recount that Season 2 fight, because honestly, why wouldn’t she?

Once all of that is sorted out, the queens head to the Main Stage to choreograph their performance, and Morgan immediately sets herself up to be a target. She’s insisting that everyone perform first before they choreograph, and it just took me all the way back to high school a bajillion years ago, when everyone in my section during my sophomore year of high school was made to audition for lead roles in a play when NOT EVERYONE WANTED TO BE A LEAD. That’s infuriating! It’s even more infuriating when she can’t pick up the choreo after all that bossing around.

The next day, Morgan’s attitude during the rehearsals is the topic of discussion, at least in the confessionals. Akeria points out that Morgan may run the drag shows outside in the real world, but here in Drag Race, she needs to focus on herself if she expects to move forward. Morphine also seems to have it in for Lucky Starzzz, but I don’t know if it’s just playful banter or actual cruelty. It’s hard to tell what actually happened there because we’re watching an edited version of events! At least Lucky has Mystique in her corner. Mystique helped out with her makeup!

We get the queens performing and…well, they got the choreo problems fixed. I don’t know about those camera angles, though, because I couldn’t tell if they were lip-syncing correctly or not. But they got the choreo down! The queens, at least, do better with the LaToya runway looks. I really liked Dawn, Morgan, and Morphine’s outfits. During the judge’s critiques, it looks like Lucky Starzzz and Mystique got the worst of it, but this is a non-elimination season, so I guess that’s good for them.

And another thing that’s good is Morgan and Dawn as the top two queens of the week! This is a first for Dawn! They’re lip-syncing to LaToya Jackson’s “Such a Wicked Love”, and while it’s not a massacre like “Body” was, I think Morgan outperformed Dawn in this one. She gets the win!

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